We weren’t planning on The Poo. Oh, we’d been negotiating it for months, hemming and hawing about when and how we’d manage. It’s laughable now, really.
I thought I had the stomach flu. I remember sitting in a restaurant with Mr. C and my parents, and neither dad nor I could eat. Of course, dad was having issues with his chemo. I just thought I was getting the barf bug. When we got home I was so tired I had to sit down to take off my shoes, and I decided then and there that I’d be calling in sick the next day.
Whenever we pass that particular restaurant, Mr. C always tells our companions “that’s where Mrs. Chicken got pregnant.”
The flu persisted, and after awhile I figured out I was probably pregnant. I’ll never forget the night we found out. I had to take two tests because the first one was inconclusive. We were both stunned.
“We’re a family,” I said.
And so we are. The Poo is such a gift to us. Five months into my pregnancy my father died from complications related to colon cancer. As I held his foot while they turned off the respirator, I placed my other hand over my belly. Knowing I had to keep her safe and shepard her into this world held me together.
I never expected to stay home with her. But the primal nature of my motherhood compels me to keep her nearby. I need her scent, her laughter, her tears. I need to teach her to say “oranges” and “love you.” I need to be her parent 100 percent of the time. That surprised no one more than me.
So here I am. My days with The Poo (a loving, if scatological, nickname) consist of canned oranges in my hair, Sesame Street and a joy that defies articulation.
She’s The Poo. And me? I’m her mommy.
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I’m not sure why I just clicked back to the beginning of your blog, and read this post. I’m also not sure why it’s here ? (isn’t it supposed to be offline?)
You always wrote wonderfully you know, and are a hell of an inspiration.
Jonathan´s last blog ..Link gets his turn in the header
You’ve made some amazing observations in your article. I am impressed with how well you formatted and wrote this. It just goes to show that there are writers who can really write. You are one.