Revised Expectations

by Mrs. Chicken on November 3, 2007

“Someday I am going to be the editor-in-chief of Vanity Fair.”

- Mrs. Chicken, circa 1991

 

“Someday I am going to find a garbage can that I don’t have to

empty every fucking fifteen minutes.”

– Mrs. Chicken, circa 2007

{ 25 comments… read them below or add one }

Aimee Greeblemonkey November 3, 2007 at 12:42 am

“Someday I am going to have my work featured in Communication Arts.”
- Aimee circa 1991

“Fuck it, I will just slather it all over my blog instead.”
- Aimee, circa 2007

Jonathan November 3, 2007 at 7:50 am

Excellent post :) There’s something about people swearing that don’t normally that makes me grin right across my face :)

Mrs. Chicken November 3, 2007 at 8:18 am

Ah, Jonathan. I curse like a sailor.

Amanda November 3, 2007 at 8:27 am

I graduated high school in ‘91 and I think my greatest aspiration was to find a job that would allow me to wear jeans and stilettos…thanks ZZ Top. Now, I just want a job that allows me to type while breastfeeding and return calls with Jojo’s Circus blaring wildly in the background.

Janet November 3, 2007 at 9:11 am

It’s good to always have a goal. ;-)

andi November 3, 2007 at 10:26 am

I’m all about the lowered expectations. It just makes my life so much easier.

KDF November 3, 2007 at 10:34 am

Har! I have the same goal. Also, will the laundry ever stop multiplying in the basket? IT NEVER ENDS!

Mom on Coffee November 3, 2007 at 11:04 am

Oh Lord, that is funny!

Heather November 3, 2007 at 11:30 am

If you find one, let us know.

Fizz November 3, 2007 at 11:35 am

Oh, sweet Jesus. I think I just woke up a napping Smooch with my raucous laughter. At least you have a goal.

Jen November 3, 2007 at 11:51 am

“Someday I am going to get in the car and drive all over the country exploring.”
-Jen circa 1996

“Fuck. Have you seen the price of gas today?”
-Crotchety old version of Jen circa 2007

Loved this. It is hilarious.

flutter November 3, 2007 at 12:53 pm

“I’m going to write movie scripts” flutter circa 1990

“I don’t want to go to the movies, people fucking annoy me.” flutter circa 2 seconds ago

BOSSY November 3, 2007 at 1:13 pm

Ah yes, the cascading dreams. Not that Bossy would know. Sigh.

Lisa B-K November 3, 2007 at 1:43 pm

“Someday, I’m going to write for Rolling Stone.” – Lisa, 1990

“If I can string three words together that don’t sound like nonsense, maybe I’ll post on my blog for the first time in 3 weeks. And turn that shit down!!!” – Lisa, 2007

Jennifer November 3, 2007 at 2:55 pm

Love this and all the comments!

candace November 3, 2007 at 5:04 pm

I might be the only optimist in the group but something tells me the first might happen before the second….
that was real funny. thanks.

Lisa Milton November 3, 2007 at 6:42 pm

Succinct and telling – thanks for the laugh.

Shannon November 4, 2007 at 12:14 am

Isn’t it amazing how much garbage a grown woman and a baby or two can produce? We have the same issue.

Arkie Mama November 5, 2007 at 1:04 am

Am laughing … this is great! My fantasy can also has to be dogproof.

Becky November 5, 2007 at 8:32 am

“I am going to be a country singer” circa 1986.
When are all the Blue’s Clues, Wiggles and every other cartoon theme songs going to leave my head and leave me in peace? If I hear just one more I am going to go crazy!!!!!! I always have to sing along. circa 2007

mom November 5, 2007 at 10:11 am

Someday I’m goingto change the word – circa 1989

I can’t wait to be tenured and unproductive – circa 2007

Did I just really type that out loud? Bad professor! Bad bad bad bad bad honest professor.

Victoria November 5, 2007 at 6:57 pm

This and the comments made my day!

Carrie November 6, 2007 at 1:03 am

You are too funny!

Oh, The Joys November 6, 2007 at 9:00 pm

…and let’s not EVEN discuss our stance on minivans.

cathy November 11, 2007 at 6:22 pm

The post and the following comments are great!

Not to be a pollyanna or anything, but you could look at this in a Buddhist way… you’re getting closer to breathing. Chop wood, carry water.

I know, I know… the hardest part of mothering is the delay or shattering of our personal dreams.