When I kissed The Poo goodbye this morning, she wrapped her arms around my neck and squeezed.
“Mommy has to go to the doctor,” she explained to her babysitter. “She has to get Shaggy aaaaallll checked out.”
This morning was my 21-week prenatal appointment, and while all the measurements and the heartbeat are great, for the third month in a row I have blood in my urine. It has gone from trace amounts to “moderate,” and still no infection can be found.
Culture after culture comes back negative. Finally, after telling them that I’m starting to be concerned about the source of this mystery blood, they did a clean-catch sample and started the process of sending me to a urologist.
(Shaggy just totally kicked me in the bladder as I typed “urologist.”)
They doc was out delivering a baby (damn babies) but the PA gave me her gently concerned look and listened dutifully to my stories about the friend who developed bladder cancer while pregnant, and my dead father.
You know, the dead father I always write about? The one who died because he wasn’t diagnosed with colon cancer until it had broken the colon wall and gotten into his nodes?
Yeah, that one.
In my rational mind, I know that it’s most likely nothing. Most likely it’s something that my body is doing while I’m pregnant, just because it feels like it. One thing I learned as a witness to a five-year journey from specialist to specialist is that sometimes? Your body? It just does weird shit.
I’m hoping that’s the case. I’m otherwise healthy. All the sonos and genetic testing were clean. Shaggy dances on my innards on a regular basis.
Still.
I worry. I worry because my dad was only 54 when he died. Because he was diagnosed at 49. Because the doctors at the Mayo Clinic told us his cancer may have started growing in his late 30s or early 40s.
And because I am 36.
It sounds slightly hysterical, I know. But I was 33 when my father died, and I still needed him. Were I to suffer the same fate, The Poo would be 21, and Shaggy would be 18. They would need me.
As I need them.
Just to clarify, I don’t think I am going to die. I doubt it is anything serious, even along the lines of an issue with the pregnancy. No placental abruptions show up in my scans. My fibroids look to be holding steady. My blood pressure is terrific and no one is more surprised then I am to hear that there is a total lack of sugar in my urine samples.
But still. It is worrisome.
Mr. C didn’t come with me today, since it was a routine visit. He called me on my cell around 10:30 to find out how things went, and when I told him they did blood work for a full kidney panel and referred me to a specialist, his response was typically reassuring:
“So I should start looking for a back-up?”
“What?” I replied.
“You know, a back-up. If you kick it, I’m gonna need some help.”
***
In other news, I shamelessly whored myself out on twitter in an attempt to get on Alltop and Christina at A Mommy Story gave me a rousing recommendation to blog guru Guy Kawasaki.
That’s right - I got Kawasakied!
I’m blushing.
And because I like to give credit where credit is due, The Blogess created this awesome button. Jenny, if you lived next door to me, I would totally stalk you.
April 9th, 2008 at 11:54 am
well, as long as your husband is supportive….
April 9th, 2008 at 11:59 am
Of course you worry. You’re pregnant. Responsible for two little lives. It just is.
But put your feet up and relax for awhile if you can, Mrs. Chicken. It will all be okay.
Go see the urologist. Do. Because it will be great to hear that everything’s fine.
April 9th, 2008 at 12:05 pm
Leave it to your husband to share your worry. Actually I think it is kind of sweet, in sort of a strange way, that he wanted you to laugh and not worry.
Anyway, fingers are crossed that all is well and this is just some stupid pregnancy thing that just just an annoyance and not a problem.
April 9th, 2008 at 12:25 pm
Could it be a kidney stone? I had one while I was pregnant, and blood kept showing up in my urine. In fact, that’s how it was “diagnosed.” Blood was in my urine for a couple of months…at first I couldn’t see it, but then I was peeing blood for a few days. Quite scary! I had to go to the urologist, too. I was the youngest person there by at least 30 years! Hang it there…there will be answers soon.
April 9th, 2008 at 12:41 pm
Trust yourself and your body. Don’t ever let anyone convince you to do otherwise. If you feel you’re fine then don’t let yourself stress, but the second you feel it is something serious make a ruckus until they figure it out.
If you don’t I’ll kick your butt one pregnant gal to another. Besides, if Mr. Chicken winds up replacing you it’s doubtful he’ll find another with the writing chops to amuse me.
April 9th, 2008 at 1:09 pm
That sounds like something my hubby would say. And I’d laugh like he meant for me to laugh…then I’d go back to worrying. It’s good that they’re (and you’re) trying to find out what’s causing it. It’s probably nothing, you’re right. But it’s always better to find out it’s nothing than to worry about it.
April 9th, 2008 at 2:31 pm
I love your blog, you should have be kawasakied a long time ago! Your husband sounds like a funny-nut, try not to worry too much, even though I understand why you do - Shaggy might turn out to be a worrier too.
April 9th, 2008 at 2:32 pm
dude, is Jenny stalking you too? I so think we need a club.
April 9th, 2008 at 3:17 pm
Your hubby cracks me up! Good luck with the tests!
April 9th, 2008 at 6:13 pm
Mr C cracks my ass up. And you? Rule
April 9th, 2008 at 6:56 pm
You DO kick ass. And, it WILL be okay.
April 9th, 2008 at 7:25 pm
I’m thinking about you, friend.
April 9th, 2008 at 8:01 pm
1. I always think I have cancer. Lump? Cancer. Itchy back? Cancer. Forgot to buy butter? Cancer.
2. When I first read that you were going to gyno to check out “shaggy” I was all “that girls needs a brazilian wax.” Then I remembered.
3. The house next door is for sale. Come on over. Also, ignore Jen. She’s totally irrational. I suspect it’s because she hasn’t eaten any of the eggs I hid in her refrigerator.
April 9th, 2008 at 8:08 pm
You need to make Mr. C a t-shirt with that button on it, except with your face where the Alltop thingy is.
I hope all goes well with the specialist. When I was a kid I always thought being a grown up would mean more knowledge, less worry. So very wrong…
April 9th, 2008 at 9:48 pm
Well, I’ve never been pregnant, and my father died two years ago at 53 from duodenal cancer which wasn’t found right away, so I’m in the boat of everything is cancer too. BUT, that being said, on Valentine’s Day I woke up to excruciating pain. It lasted three hours, and now just comes and goes randomly. I went in on said Valentine’s Day and they found a lot of blood in my urine. It turned out to be 6 kidney stones. I’m still not sure if I passed all the buggers because a) they were small and b) I still get a random shooting pain, but nothing like the three hour tourture that said “I love you” on Valentine’s Day.
SOOOO as one in a similar situation a few months ago, I think you have yourself a kidney stone, but since I’m not a doctor, I can’t say for sure. I do however think everything will be ok.
April 9th, 2008 at 10:22 pm
I love the great comments you receive.
I had a completely different idea of how to respond to this post, then I read your responses, and now I feel utterly lost.
I’m trying not to feel bad about myself for being old and tired.
But… back to you! Have you tried eating oatmeal? It’s the most soothing thing to the digestive system and it will support your kidneys and adrenals while they’re dealing with so much extra.
Just an idea. Courage to you.
April 10th, 2008 at 12:42 am
Okay, fine. I love you!
April 10th, 2008 at 9:40 am
Mr. C must be Rob’s long lost brother. I get that completely.
Peace be with you-
April 10th, 2008 at 9:45 am
There is something about pregnancy that makes us feel and alerts us, I think, to the fragility of it all. I never worry more about EVERYTHING than in my pg state. I agree that everything will be fine and it’s best to go see the doctors and get poked and prodded so they can ease your mind.
April 10th, 2008 at 9:47 am
Nothing says love like sarcasum during a stressful time! I was thinking maybe a kidney stone? I am always late to the party and someone already said that…that darn baby keeps me from blogging!
April 10th, 2008 at 7:53 pm
I am imagining Shaggy being born totally Baby Bald. Now that would be cute! But seriously, you’re taking all the necessary precautions and not assuming anything.
April 10th, 2008 at 8:28 pm
Congrats on being Kawasakied!
Will be praying that all is okay.
April 11th, 2008 at 11:39 am
That’s totally something my husband would have said. Damn men!
Sending good thoughts that this just falls into the category of “weird shit” and nothing serious.
April 14th, 2008 at 7:21 pm
I’m always holding you in my heart, even when I am desperately behind on my reader, but it bears repeating. xoxo
April 15th, 2008 at 4:00 pm
I am so stoked you are on Alltop.
And I hope all is OK. xoxo