The Poo adores her babysitter. Bethany is a godsend, the kind of sitter you’d steal from your best friend, consequences be damned.
We found her around September, when our last girl got a full-time job teaching music. Julia was nice, but she wasn’t ideal. Her schedule didn’t jibe with ours and she often seemed put out by some of The Poo’s habits and play preferences.
In the early fall/late summer, I put out a plea on Craigslist and Bethany joined our family.
She’s bright, articulate, funny and sweet. The best thing about her, though, is that she seems to genuinely care about my daughter.
When I come home from running errands or writing at the coffeeshop, I often find her sitting on the family room floor, knee-deep in ponies. Or sitting on the couch reading the 12th book of the morning. Or I hand her my car keys and my debit card, and tell the two girls to skeedaddle so I can clean the house or take a much-needed nap.
I love Bethany. And so does The Poo.
Bethany is leaving us on May 1.
I haven’t the heart to break the news to The Poo. This is the first time in her short life that she’s really had to bid farewell to someone she cares about.
Sure, her grandparents, aunts and cousins come and go, but they are still a constant presence. She can call them up on the phone or video chat with them.
But Bethany is moving to Chicago, getting on with her adult life. She rented an apartment and sent out a ream of resumes, and then she handed me her notice. After the first of May, she will no longer be part of The Poo’s life.
I feel so bad for my girl. She asks me every night if Bethany is coming the next day to play with her. On those days when she has to settle for school or just me for diversion, she lets out one disappointed cry:
“Awwwwwwwwww! But I LOVE Bethany!”
You get the picture.
Today we interviewed Bethany’s replacement, a young lady who seems very mature. She’s 25 and lives here with her boyfriend, a Ph.d candidate at the Huge Midwestern University. She’s taking the next 18 months to “do what makes her happy” and earn a few bucks before they move on to greener pastures.
She wants a part-time job with kids, so she can use her academic background in health and child development. She’s athletic, well-read, polite and well-educated.
And she bored the pants off me.
There was absolutely no chemistry there, with me or The Poo. Granted, she was probably nervous. She was in a stranger’s (messy) house, interviewing for a job she really wanted so she could give her notice at the crappy retail job she’s been working.
She seems totally trustworthy and comes armed with a set of good references. She’s taking care of her sick grandmother until she starts sitting for us. I mean, how can you argue with a wholesome young lady who holds a master’s degree in family and child development, who also cares for her ailing grandma?
You can’t. So I hired her, and I’m happy to have someone in place to take over when Bethany leaves us.
But she’s got some very, very big shoes to fill.
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Heh… I got here courtesy of your twitter post – which beat the RSS readers to the punch.
We don’t have a nanny (yet) although I’m considering suggesting it because Wendy is having SUCH a hard time with the kids on her own.
New sitters take time to adjust to. We’ve been through our fair share (just said good-bye in Dec. to a fave who finished school and moved on) of wonderful young women who truly adored my children.
If the Poo gets on w/the new girl, then that’s great. Believe it or not, as much as she loves her now, she may forget Bethany. Evan’s favorite sitter from when he was Poo’s age is all but a distant memory to him.
Would this new girl want to teach preschool? Or sub? Just asking.
OMG, seriously? This post almost made me cry. I have no idea why, as I’m not even premenstrual. But how sad for The Poo. Hopefully, the new sitter will be great.
P.S. I’m probably weeping with jealousy for my daughter SCARES sitters away!
We’re in the same position. Our beloved babysitter, who’s been watching our son since he was four months old (he”ll be two next friday) is graduating in May, too, and is moving to CA to work for Teach for America.
I don’t know how to tell him either, and I’m scared to death of trying to find someone who can remotely compare to take her place–especially since I’m hoping to be back teaching part-time in the fall.
Oh, that sucks. It’s so hard for the kids, but ultimately it’s good because she’ll learn from it. Still, it way sucks.
Here’s a thought. Sign up Poo for a free email account and let her keep in touch with her sitter that way. She’ll feel more connected and in control, and though you’ll be typing the most at first and reading the responses, it will be a great way to encourage her own reading and writing and typing.
I’ve kept in touch with the girls I babysat in Paris this way, and we write in English (though we always spoke French when I was there) because it’s good practice for them.
Good luck with this transition. Not fun, but she’ll survive.
This makes my stomach hurt for both of you. My kids adore their babysitter and the feeling is mutual; I’m dreading the day she graduates (next May). The only positive thing about it will be that my older son will be in school all day and my younger will be going to preschool a couple days a week. SIGH. I don’t envy you at all.
She may just have been nervous. Hopefully it will bee a smooth transition…
You are so lucky to live in an area with a large number of college age people to choose from. Around here, should I need a sitter, BillyJoeJimBob sitting down at the corner drinking a Bud is about my only choice. Obviously, I don’t get away from the piglet much.
Oh I dread when this day comes. We have had our current sitter since Amelia was less than 6 months old. Last week she just found out she got in to OT school, so that means we will have her for the next 3 years. (we live in a college town) I told Madeline how happy I was that Ali would get to stay for 3 more years and she just looked at me so sad and said “I thought she would always be here.” UGH.
Hopefully Poo and her sitter can stay in touch, she can always color pictures for her and then maybe she can look forward to the mail in return.
Oh we’ve been through this! Shark Boy got Danna when he was only about 2.5 years old and she was his sitter for over 2 years (so to him, that’s his whole life basically). She was really pretty and he had such a crush. And she had been a basketball player in college and was athletic. A boy’s perfect girl. She got her nursing degree finished up and left us. It was a huge bummer.
That’s tough. But I bet it won’t be long until the Poo and the New Girl are getting along just as well.
I was that baby sitter when I was younger and I still maintain friendships with the families and kids I worked for. Could The Poo maybe gain a great pen pal in Bethany?
and maybe she’ll be incredible in a way all her own!
We have found Henry doesn’t have much long term memory for his daycare providers thus far. If we bring up beloved (at the time) Miss Crista or Miss Danielle from his last daycare he looks completely blank.
I know this is somewhat off topic, but I never even thought about Craigslist for babysitters! That’s genius!
And I hope your new gal works out well.
I feel your pain. We said goodbye to Ms. Kelly who had been with our family since my twins were 8 months. I hired someone in Jan and then promptly fired her. I am still looking for someone but once you have had the perfect match, it is tough. I hope the new girl works out. Keep us posted!
Transitions can be hard, but it sounds like you and The Poo will have enough time to get to know the new sitter before Shaggy get here!
And when that time comes, you will be so grateful to have that extra set of well-educated, well-read and well-meaning hands around!
Aw, poor you. I hope you’ll find something fun and interesting about the new person and that The Poo likes her too.
Oh, Mrs C.
I feel your pain and The Poo’s pain. I think there is some sort of Mommy Parallel Universe wherein a large percentage of us all have the same “but you’re the grown-up so you have to deal with it” &%$#@! at the same time.
Bean’s beloved Miss N leaves us next Tuesday. I have a backup plan, but it’s a sucky second best to Miss N, and I’m pouting.
Crap.
So hows the new baby sitter doing? I hope she is fine as Bethany.