I’ve given up.
Last week I managed to clean my house, and it only took me, oh, THREE DAYS to accomplish the task. In between answering questions about how marigolds grow, providing assistance attaining the elusive golden key on some Dora computer game and fetching juice and water, I toiled away.
Here is what I did:
* Cleaned all three bathrooms
* Vacuumed the entire upstairs
* Put away the laundry (major big deal, friends, major)
* Washed all clothing in hampers
* Cleared floors of all detritus
* Swept kitchen
* Cleaned sink and counters
And today?
The house is a fucking disaster.
It was clean for like, two seconds.
So you know what? I’ve given up. But what I really want to know, is have you? Have you succumbed to the tide?
Are you a dirty housewife?
So here’s the skinny. I’m having a contest. And there’s a button (thanks, Sam!). Here’s what I want you to do:
1. Take a picture of the dirtiest part of your house. The room, appliance or area that makes you so crazy that you’ve given up on it.
2. Post the picture on your blog, and leave a comment on this post with the link by Friday, April 18th.
3. Steal the button.
I’ll visit all your blogs and decide who has the dirtiest room, appliance or area. What will YOU get?
You get a hand-embroidered tea towel made by me, something a little like this:
… and a basket of cleaning products from Seventh Generation. I’ve recently started using natural cleaning products, and their dish soap rocks the casbah. I called them up and they generously agreed to send the winner of this here Dirty Housewife contest a Free & Clear Starter Kit, containing products valued at $39.99. Check this baby out:
So go ahead, ladies and gents. Let’s get dirty. And just to start you off, here is my fridge, before I cleaned it.
Mmmmm, 10-day-old Thai food! Yummy!
{ 36 comments… read them below or add one }
Wow, your fridge is stocked.
I’d post photos, but I’m too ashamed. My friends would never set foot in my house again! (And they don’t come that often anyway!)
Oh Dear Lord.
My house is a disaster. It has been since I got pregnant! LOL
You want me to pick just one room!?
We just came off renting our house to perfect strangers for a convention in town (10 days). Trying to get your house ready for this type of invasion is like giving birth. I have no pictures to post because for two days of the year everything is in in place and I am heading to an insane asylum.
Ack! I think I could actually win this thing. I’m trying to pack for vacation so my house is even messier than usual. I’ll try to post something before we go.
Hah. Just wait, wait, until you see my stack of unpaid bills. Or is it the back room (again)?
Promise you’ll still come over when you see how we really live?
Well crap. This is what I get for cleaning instead of reading blogs. JUST THIS morning, I cleaned my filthy house. It’s a disaster.
I suppose it’s possible that it will get dirty again before Friday, though. Maybe.
Oh, I’ve completely given up.
I love it when the neighbor comes over, takes a look around, and says “wow, what happened here?”.
Uh, two kids and a sick mom.
I would be so petrified to take a picture of the dirtiest part of my house.
Oooh, I’m game! Gruff just called to check in & –as he does every day– asked what we were doing. “Smooch is asleep, and I’m taking pictures for a blog post.” I explained the concept here, and (God bless him!!) he actually did NOT ASK why I was taking pictures of our dirty office INSTEAD OF cleaning the darn thing. I knew I loved him for a reason.
If I told you how long it has been since the kitchen floor has been swept and/or mopped, you would never want to meet me or read my blog ever again.
I would have to go for a clutter picture, as any crevices of dirt would be too shameful to post.
Why, oh why could you not have posted this contest last week?
My bedroom and master bathroom was disgusting. Disgusting. And, Oh! The Laundry in it. I spent 4 days getting it somewhat livable. I could have totally taken this contest.
And I just cleaned my kitchen this morning.
Oh well. My house does tend to implode on itself rather quickly. I’m sure I can come up with something in the next day or so. Do kids’ rooms count….because my daughter’s room is…awful.
Please tell me your husband helps with at least some of the housework. One person should not have to do it all!
I’m trying to decide if my lust for the tea towel and cleaning products overrides my complete sense of shame at the state of my house.
Giant piles of dog hair anyone?
Oh this is so unfair. After seven years of “discussing” it, we hired a housekeeper last week. Now that doesn’t mean I don’t still have an entry. I just don’t know how I’m going to choose.
Should I just give you my address now??
I will most definitely be getting you a photo. I can only say that prior to getting married this last time, I was a full-own nazi about clean. I wanted everything super clean and organized. I come from a family that sweeps/mops/vacuums/dust every day and irons their underwear and sheets. I was not that bad, that was something that needed medical intervention. But, I was bad.
Than, I married the most cluttered, unorganized man in the universe. And, so, I gave in a little here and there. It really got to be that his dirty underwear in the living room every morning was just part of life. It would still annoy me, but I started to give in.
Then, I had a kid. Holy cow, who knew they needed so much stuff. And stuff that not only wouldn’t stay organized, most of which is just not organizable. And, so, my standards relaxed a little more.
I still had a few minor issues that I wouldn’t let go of but I did decide that hubby’s dirty underwear in the living room every morning wasn’t any worse than the poop and spit-up stained carpet. Normally I would have got a cleaner and got that stuff up with in minutes of it hitting the floor. I had relaxed to where it would at least wait til the kid was asleep and then it got to the point that I figured it could wait til the weekend. Afterall, we never have guests.
Enter child number 2 and holy cow, my standards relaxed even more. I mean, heck, what difference does it make if they leave their pj’s in the living room all day. They are just going to wear them again that night in most cases (something that child number 1 never did…wear the same pj’s 2 nights? omg, commit me! now, what the heck, if they don’t stink, why bother dirtying up a clean pair).,
So, now dishes stayed in the sink a little longer, laundry didn’t get put up within minutes of being pulled out of the dryer, clothes didn’t really have to be taken to the closets for hanging up for a day or 2 since I had a place to hang them in the laundry room and heaven help me, those kids were not only wearing the same pj’s 2 nights in a row, some days they didn’t even take them off . I went from thinking my kids needed 2 or three baths a day to thinking, ah heck they didn’t play outside today, they’ll be fine.
Fast forward to buying the daycare. Lots of state agencies require it remain spotless. And, I am the old me when I’m at the daycare. I don’t put up with dirty dishes left in the sink, not one, I run the vacuum or the roomba every day, I mop the 2 floors that need moping everyday. But our home is a complete pig stye. I am embarrassed. Very very embarrassed.
My mom is very sick. She has cancer and I’m trying to spend a lot of time with her. We need to bring in a nanny/housekeeper kind of person and I have someone willing to do it. But, I refuse to bring them in until this house is clean. I would absolutely die if someone came inside my house right now.
Yesterday my cousin sent me a text to tell me that my aunt was visiting my mom. At first I figured, oh well, she came to see mom not me anyway. Then, ….it dawned on me, what if she came to my house after she left moms? I got my ass in gear and headed to my mom asap. This is the aunt who irons her underwear and sheets. She would have been hyperventilating before she got one foot on the first step.
I care, I just do not have the time or energy to do anything about it. And, remember, I married Mr. who cares if things are cluttered and dirty. This filth is beyond dirty. One of my employees lives in public housing. They did an inspection not long ago and told her that she had 10 days to get certain things cleaned up or she would be evicted. Those things included:
* 2 dirty bowls in the sink
* toys behind furniture
* dirty clothes on the floor, not inside the hamper
I was like, wtf? I would have my kids taken from me if those folks came into my house the way it is right now. I mean, you know it is filthy when you are too embarrassed to let a house keeper come in.
Now, in my defense. I’ve been working the daycare sometimes 12 hours a day. Walker is playing baseball, that’s 2 practices a week plus all day Saturdays. Now, I’ve been to 3 conferences out of town lately and to the hospital with my mom twice. Now I’m spending the time I normally spent at home with my mom.
No lie, just you wait til you see my pictures. I’ll win this thing hands down!
Oh no, you’ve gone over the edge. Pick me, pick me. Here.
It’s because the Pope is coming, I’m sure. Clean it up.
Oh my God, I’m posting my basement! I so-o-o hope I win. You know me, and cleaning.
Hmmm. I should start a blog just so I can enter!
Damn I wish I’d known about this when I was still at home. Because the pile of disgusting dishes left over from last night’s dinner, plus the pile-up of utensils and groceries I don’t have room for PLUS the dog crate and dog hair and dog dirt all over the kitchen…well I would have won hands down. If I remember tonight (and before I am forced to finally clean it) I will snap a shot for you.
Proud to say I gave up cable to pay for my cleaning lady. You won’t be getting a photo from me, bwaa haaa haaa!
I may have to post a picture of Little Miss’s room. She “cleaned” it yesterday. Still I think I could win, if shame doesn’t keep me from entering!
I’m playing along.
Voila! Le mud room.
Oh hai! Plz to not look if pregnant stomach is queasy. Kthxbye.
http://yestertimeblog.com/2008/04/16/lest-you-think-i-exaggerate/
OK, I played too!
http://mom2cne.blogspot.com/2008/04/dirty-girl.html
I put up a photo at http://www.devivo.blogspot.com of our living room. It’s so hard to capture the total disarray without a wide angle or fisheye lense.
I love this, most especially the chance to see that I am not the only one who is losing the battle.
Check out my dirty house.
This is before my frantic “pick up before the housekeeper gets here”.
Oh, I am all over this one! I’ll get ‘er done tonight!
Thanks for the fun idea!
I did it!
http://blankenshipkids.blogspot.com/2008/04/my-dirty-housewife-confession.html
Here’s my entry. http://bipolarlawyercook.wordpress.com/2008/04/17/competitive-even-when-i-shouldnt-be/
I’m in! Here’s mine:
http://milkbreathandmargaritas.blogspot.com/2008/04/dirty-housewives.html
I am about to shame you all. Suck on this, internet.
http://candleatbothends.blogspot.com/2008/04/making-you-all-feel-better-through.html
Wow! I can already see that I’m going to like this blog.
My husband is a slob and when I’m around slobby people that don’t care whether the house is messy or not, I tend to be very slobby myself. We moved almost 6 months ago. Clothes are still in boxes and every available surface is covered in CRAP. It’s so bad, I don’t even know where to start! It’s really overwhelming! I wish I could have entered into your contest because I’m damned sure that my house is the worst one!
This is a great idea and what a wonderful way to get my wife to clean the house!! It looks like we missed this contest, but will there be another in the near future?