This is the second time I’ve been pregnant, and the second time I’ve had a really, really terrible haircut.
I can’t fault my stylist – she’s doing the best she can with what she’s got. I mean, I’m the moron who decided that blunt bangs just above my eyebrows was a really awesome idea.
Next time I’m hankering for a change, remind me that I can just change the color of my toenail polish, will ya?
The first time I got knocked up, my hair was just growing back in from nearly two years of alopecia areata totalis, in which I lost 90 percent of my hair. I looked, for all the world, like Pat Summitt.
Not that there’s anything wrong with Pat Summitt. She’s a very successful lady. But she’s not what I’d call a style icon.
This time, the situation is exacerbated by the fact that I already look like a beached whale at 22 weeks. I swear, this kid is gonna stroll right outta my vajayjay and ask for the car keys.
To say I’m feeling on the dark side of ugly is an understatement. After my cursory morning routine yesterday (shampoo, conditioner, soap), I looked in the mirror and actually saw myself for the first time in a long while.
And, wow. Do I look bad right now.
I haven’t dried my hair in weeks, my make-up is gathering dust under the vanity and my clothes can be described, at their best, as large. I’m sure to others I look like any other harried, pregnant mom of a three-year-old in the throes of potty training, but to my critical eye I look like horrible.
Along with beautification, my personal grooming habits have fallen by the wayside. I haven’t shaved in weeks, and warm weather seems to finally be on its way. It’s almost May, and I need to buy our pool pass.
What does one wear to the pool?
A bathing suit.
What does one need in order to wear a bathing suit?
Hair-free legs.
Thanks to my giant belly, shaving my legs is already a hassle. I can’t really see, and bending over is uncomfortable. So I decided to get my thighs waxed – the first time I’ve ever had hot wax applied to any area below my upper lip.
I started with the thighs because I am much more likely to shave my calves. It takes a lot less time. Sadly, I am one of those hairy girls of Eastern European extraction who, if left to nature, would resemble a large bear.
In two hours I’ll be laying half-naked on a table, belly-bump waving helplessly in the air, while a stranger gets an eyeful of my poor body maintenance habits.
Wish me luck.
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Beached whale? You’re not exaggerating or anything. Enjoy your pampering, if you can call it that.
Omg, you’re brave to get that done. Let us know how it goes.
Because misery loves company, I’m right there with you except I’m 40 weeks, 2 days pregnant (hello due date, good bye due date, fuck you due date). Of course I love this squirmy giant inside my belly, but for Christ sake, at some point I’d like to once again have the ability to steal a glance at my own vajay-jay enough to know whether my whacks with a razor are doing any good.
I too contemplated having that situation addressed via wax . . . but in the end I took too much pity on the poor esthetician that would be charged with the task of manuevering around my massive parts.
In regards to the bathing suit dilema, at least you’ll have an obvious excuse to have a cute bulging belly, I’m looking at a post-partum summer with no clear excuse for my jelly!
Hang in there, and remember Mr. Chicken would never survive your waxing endeavor.
I shan’t regale you with tales of my accidental brazilian….
when i get all nudey for my waxer…i just keep telling myself that they’ve seen worse…because they must have…right?
Damn. You are a better woman than I was.
Each of my three pregnancies I let my um, personal grooming go.
My mother and my husband would tease me about my tree trunk hairy legs while I was trying to squeeze out a baby.
Sensitive souls they are.
Heh.
Funny you chose waxing. That was going to be my suggestion. But here are my thoughts:
1. Have your eyebrows done. I always feel better with clean eyebrows.
2. Get the whole leg done. It doesn’t hurt at all and it last much longer than shaving (I’m a hairy girl too, I know).
3. Grab some new lipstick and sunglasses. That will perk you up.
And PS–Your gorgeous and growing a human. That’s no small task. Be gentle with yourself.
xo,
amie
You are braver than I am. I had my eyebrows waxed one time and swore I would never do it again.
When you are pregnant you have every right to slap anyone who mentions you need to shave your legs. If you can’t see the hair, it quits growing, right?
Good luck. And relax. I agree with MommaLoves, you are growing a human, take it easy.
Awww, our bodies are just not our own when pregnant. I’ve only had my eyebrows waxed and not when pregnant because my body is just extra sensitive to touch and smell when I’m pregnant. I hope it went well for you.
You must, without fail, every single day, get up, shower and then apply some sort of face lotion with a touch of foundation added for color. You must then apply mascara and the tiniest bit of cheek stain. Then, if you don’t dry it, at least add a tiny bit of pomade.
I am not trying to be Carmindy, I am the lowest maintenance kind of girl. Here is the reality as put to me by someone I love, but did not as they said this, “You are older, you have a child and the second time is harder.”
Give yourself the seven minutes I am proposing. You will be kinder to your daughter, your husband and yourself. It will be worth it, whether it is something you would normally do or not.
Trust me, it has been my salvation.
You certainly have my respect! I totally let myself go when I was preggy, except for shaving my legs, but I’m kind of OCD when it comes to that…
I kinda think having someone else de-hair your body sounds a bit luxurious, minus the pain of course.
I can’t wait to read about how it goes. Just yesterday I was thinking that now might be the time to try getting my legs waxed for the first time. I can’t even remember how many weeks it’s been since my legs have seen the razor. But yes… warm weather is quickly approaching.
I was just reading some of the above comments… and I just LOVE that Amanda mentions Carmindy. heehee
very good \o/