I feel similarly about my MIL. She is not perfect, but she was a good mother to my husband, is a fantastic, loving, devoted grandmother, and makes a real effort to be a good friend and helper to me. I hear some in-law stories that curl my hair from my friends, so I know we’re equally lucky/blessed in this area.

PS If you want to feel better about your lack of preparedness, let me send you a photo of E’s room. She is 27 months old and we still haven’t done a thing with it, save for erecting a wall between her room and ours, which is still raw gypsum with drywall screws.

How I wish I had a MIL like that. I really wish it more for my husband than for myself.

Not knowing too much about your situation, I don’t want to assume too much here.

However, my own mother has been actively and passive-aggressively withdrawing from us for many years (especially since E was born).

Meanwhile, my MIL often steps in without question. She also can be judgemental and narrow-focused, but she loves and helps without question.

Anyway… sometimes I wish *my* mom could be a little more like my MIL. Meanwhile, I keep trying to encourage and support my MIL, and I’m letting my mom live her own (obviously-chosen, at this point) life more and more.

The floor scrubbing, however, is priceless.