This might need to be filed under the “TMI” category, but people.
My crotch is fucking KILLING me.
When we had our last ultrasound, it was revealed that Shaggy Boy’s head is lodged deep in my pelvis. Normally this would be very good news indeed, seeing as his sister was breech.
However, since I will be having a scheduled section regardless of his position, at this point? The whole head down thing?
TOTALLY SUCKING.
This child must have an enormous noggin because my nether regions ache like nothing I’ve ever experienced. The pressure between my legs is tremendous and I fear I am *thisclose* to popping a varicose vein in a very compromising place.
Not to mention my irrational fear of hemorrhoids. I feel them coming.
Add in the heat, humidity and the fact that ice cream is mostly forbidden, and you have one cranky Mrs. Chicken.
No one likes a cranky Mrs. Chicken.
I can’t even lie when people ask me how I’m feeling. I went to a wedding shower today for a fresh young thing and when she asked me how I was, I committed a cardinal sin.
I actually told her.
I felt like someone’s grandmother, kvetching about my swollen ankles and The Diabetus.
I know the end result is worth it, and I have a sneaking suspicion that once he comes out, I’ll be wishing I could shove him back in.
But right now? If y’all have any advice for me and my aching poonanny, I would much appreciate it.
And please, if your suggestion is to stay off my feet? Keep it to yourself. Would that I could, people.
Remember, I said I was cranky.
June 14th, 2008 at 8:31 pm
Oh honey, I’m gonna commit the cardinal sin, it doesn’t get better until you’re done. I am so sorry, but I promise, one day you’ll be sitting watching them and you’ll be so glad you did this, but oh, the pressure, like a torpedo trying to get through a hammock. Defies logic, physics and whatever that they stay in.
I’ll just go ahead and call myself a bitch for saying this all.
Sorry.
June 14th, 2008 at 8:53 pm
Ugh. No advice but I do remember that feeling - like he was going to just fall out any minute. BTW, fresh young things NEED a reality check once in awhile!
June 14th, 2008 at 9:06 pm
Let me know if you get a surprise in the mail. Someone I “know” is seeing what they can do. Small, but satisfying!
June 14th, 2008 at 9:18 pm
oh my gosh you crack me up.
June 14th, 2008 at 9:45 pm
I’m sorry you’re feeling this way! You asked for advice, so I’m going to give you a suggestion. Take it or leave it.
Have you tried sitting on an exercise ball? It really does seem to relieve some of the pressure…or it did for me.
June 14th, 2008 at 10:02 pm
OMG! So happy I’m not the only one this happened to. I never had it with the first pregnancy, but during the second one - ugh, sweet fancy moses! It’s such an odd, incredibly painful feeling. Sorry, I have no advice. I hope the rest of the pregnancy goes quickly.
June 14th, 2008 at 11:36 pm
I swelled up in the most inconvenient of places with both my pregnancies because of their big ol’ noggins. I actually did pop myself a varicose vein.
Anyway…
There isn’t much you can do. My doctor told me to stay off my feet and I told him to stuff it. Who can stay off their feet? We have lives. And other children. I begged a few of those ice packs that cool when you break them that the hospital gives new moms. You know the ones that are the shape of a giant pad but with the cool jelly in them? Stuff one down your panties and be happy for a few minutes. I’d go with the granny panties for this endeavor.
Also? I wouldn’t leave the house like that.
June 15th, 2008 at 4:00 am
I know this discomfort.
That idea up there about the exercise ball sounds good. Can you sit in a cool-ish kiddie pool with the Poo? In and out of the cool water for awhile?
I had a short cervix so there was indeed worry that E would “fall out” so I had some bed rest because of that. I tried to keep my legs raised whenever possible, but I get how you can’t do that right now.
Is your husband rubbing your feet?
June 15th, 2008 at 5:56 am
Someone told me to crawl on hands and knees a few times a day, just to get the weight of the baby to lean away from your bones?
This is my first pregnancy, and I’m not as far along yet, so I dunno if it’s assvice or not.
June 15th, 2008 at 6:11 am
I am lighting candles for you, to send anti-hemohhoird vibes to you.
I mean, I can’t even SPELL the frigging things.. I certainly can’t endure them again in the future…
June 15th, 2008 at 6:45 am
I know your pain. Meenie was head down and engaged very early. I felt like I was walking around with a bowling ball between my legs most of my pregnancy. Can you try using ice any time your sitting and relaxing? I don’t remember getting much relief, except from when she finally popped out.
June 15th, 2008 at 7:07 am
I sat on an exercise ball all the time because it was hard to sit in a chair. Also sounding good, floating in the pool and downward dog. Only six weeks to go, get through them any way you can.
June 15th, 2008 at 10:06 am
I have no hooha advice; some friend I am.
But. I DISTINCTLY remember my second pregnancy just like that. The pressure was enormous. I’m sorry you’re in the place right now.
(On an optimist note - please don’t hate me - it took about one and half pushes to get him out. I pushed for almost 3 hours with my girl and they used forceps. Ack. I pray and hope your delivery is easy. FAIR TRADE.)
June 15th, 2008 at 12:27 pm
I think it gets worse with each pregnancy. I was nearly crippled with my third.
I’ll keep you and your hooha in my thoughts.
June 15th, 2008 at 12:29 pm
he’s basically all cooked up. how much can one bloody mary really hurt? i mean, there’s vitamin C in that stuff too.
seriously. babe. i’m sorry.
June 15th, 2008 at 4:15 pm
I have no advice, but lots of sympathy. I felt like my uterus was going to drop out the second time around. The feeling pretty much lasted until the spinal for the c-section kicked in.
However, I never got hemorrhoids if that makes you feel any better.
June 15th, 2008 at 7:44 pm
Holy shit, I totally remember this and I’m so sorry. It’s so entirely unpleasant.
June 16th, 2008 at 6:59 am
oh hun! I know exactly how you feel and I popped a huge vein down there, too. Good times! So the only way I could get relief was as suggested before-ice packs. I bought a few of those soft and moldable ones by Ace Bandage and put them on my hooha every chance I got. Also, the all fours thing really does help. Sway your hips back and forth while your down there if you have lower back pain, too. Seriously, the last for weeks of being preggo I had my ass in the air several times a day with an ice pack under huge preggo undies. Now isn’t that a nice visual?! But, it worked!
June 16th, 2008 at 8:15 pm
Spend as much time in the city pool as you can. The Poo will love it and you will escape from gravity.
Screw the ice bag; get yourself a few bags of frozen peas, wrap the coldest one in a washcloth, and enjoy.
Rotate as needed, oh, and mark them so you don’t serve Hoo-Ha Hash at your next dinner party. Although that could be quite the ice-breaker, no pun intended.
Sending you some pregnant lady love.
June 16th, 2008 at 8:45 pm
Oh, the pain. You don’t know how relieved I am to have that big head out of my crotch. My only advice is the pool. And don’t cook. Cooking is hell on a hooha.
I arrived home from the hospital only to realize that my loving husband had posted a picture of my vagina (with giant vericose vein) on my Flickr. He thought it was private, but no, it was on friends and family. Then I thought I had to go into a hooha on the internet protection program. Oh, sweet jesus, did my father in law see that.
Anyhow, keep your sense of humor. The pain goes away right after delivery. Honestly, I think my stitches are nothing compared to the pressure/vein pain.
sally
June 17th, 2008 at 12:02 pm
Two suggestions: Sit on an exercise ball (it really does help) and get thee in the water. The pool makes you a little more weightless and takes some of the pressure off - even if temporarily.
I remember that feeling and I agree it sucks. I’m sorry!
June 17th, 2008 at 4:12 pm
Been there done that. Seems like the second and third kids do that to the old poonanny because it’s lost some of the old support from the first kid bearing down on it. And yes, I did pop a varicose vein. And yes, I did get HORRIBLE hemorrhoids from which I still suffer occasionally today. Only relief I found…straddle an exercise ball and bounce away. That, and floating. Lots of floating. And limit the amount of time you stand for long periods. I hear you on the not being able to get off your feet. When I went through this, my first was only 10-19 months old. So there was no getting off my feet. But I did manage to limit the length of time I spent standing. In other words, stand in spurts.
Wish I could be of more help. But I do feel your pain….and rest assured, come 08/08/08, you’ll be rid of it.
June 18th, 2008 at 4:31 pm
OMG You are bringing me back! At this point I felt like Riley was trying to claw her way out. I begged my doctor for relief and almost cried when they told me that the awful pain meant she was in “the right position”. The only thing I can suggest is to go to Montana Mill Bread company on Park Ave and eat something sinful and try to forget that it feels like your insides are going to fall out.
I know, not much help.
Oh and while you are down town. Stop at Mings Vietnamese off Monroe Ave just after the 490 Exit (away from the city.)
Sigh…I miss Rochester…
June 19th, 2008 at 4:46 pm
I am very sorry to hear about your crotch pain.
June 19th, 2008 at 5:02 pm
See it is posts like this that remind me what pregnancy is like, and question ‘do I really want to do that again?’.
June 21st, 2008 at 9:34 pm
Hey, I was there just a few weeks ago!
And yes, it gets worse with each pregnancy. The third one just about killed my crotch area for good.
Unfortunately, only having the baby seemed to help me. But I know that pain…and I had it for MONTHS.
June 24th, 2008 at 11:35 am
I’m getting caught up here today and am delighted to see the term poonanny, as well as all it’s counterpart terms in this post. Sorry your feeling lame though. Thanks for putting a shit eating grin on my face, nevertheless.
July 2nd, 2008 at 12:01 am
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