I am, in a word, wasted.
And not in that good way, like when you’ve had one too many Mike’s Hard Lemonades on the Fourth of July and when you giggle, you pee a little.
In the bad way, like you haven’t slept a full night in 15 weeks and you are so hungry you could eat the face off a monkey.
Can I just say that Week 32 is kicking my ass?
Tuesday night we went to bed at our customary hour of 11 p.m. and read for about 30 minutes. I was exhausted and looked forward to closing my eyes.
Sadly, that never did happen.
All of a sudden I was short of breath, and decided to sleep propped up with two bed pillows plus my giant Boppy pregnancy pillow (which, by the way, I love). Every 10 minutes from that time on I needed to pee, change positions or breathe my way through a painful Braxton-Hicks contraction.
Oh, and don’t forget my new friend, heartburn. We’re like this, heartburn and I.
Wednesday morning found me struggling to breathe, dizzy and with my blood sugar spiking even though the only food I’d ingested was one slice of Weight Watchers wheat bread (gag) and two tablespoons of peanut butter.
So yeah, I did it.
I called my doctor.
They got me in right away and hooked me up to the fetal monitor. Baby moves as he should. Heartbeat as it should be. Blood pressure is good.
The doc came in and told me my sugar readings were terrific overall, and that there was nothing to worry about. She said the shortness of breath is normal when your organs are being squashed by a small human and that I needed to eat more.
“You can’t feel like you are starving yourself,” she said. “Are you hungry a lot?”
I nodded, and the scant two pounds I’ve gained over the last six weeks sealed the deal for her.
If I couldn’t control my sugar with diet, she said, she could give me an oral medication before we even considered insulin.
I heard “you’re fine” and “eat more.”
Then I spontaneously combusted from mortification.
I panicked. I caved into The Pregnant Crazy that threatens to take over the remaining seven weeks of my gestation.
I couldn’t help it.
Feeling ridiculous hooked up to the monitor under the doc’s amused gaze, I bushed and apologized.
“I’m really sorry,” I said. “I should have known better. But I just didn’t feel right, you know? I was never like this with my first, I -”
She interrupted me.
“The first time, you don’t know what you don’t know,” she said, gently patting my knee. “Call us and come in any time. Really.”
She and the nurse left me to pull my shirt down, gather my things and exit as gracefully as possibly under the circumstances.
I am under strict instructions to eat more (yay!) and come back Saturday to re-evaluate my blood sugar.
So there you have it. I cashed in my “Hysterical Pregnant Woman” token. From here on out, I have to act like a normal person.
It is going to be a very long seven weeks.
June 26th, 2008 at 12:28 am
I find it difficult to act like a normal person when I’m most definitely NOT pregnant, let alone 32 weeks. If I were you, I think I’d just go nuts. Let the hormones run wild and act like a crazy woman. How many times in our lives do we have a good excuse to do that? Not many. Go wild!
June 26th, 2008 at 1:00 am
oh, babe.
June 26th, 2008 at 5:56 am
Hey, it all sounded normal to me! Hang in there.
June 26th, 2008 at 6:22 am
That didn’t sound crazy to me. And take her advice, go in whenever you feel “off”! With Meenie, I kept going into labor (stupid gallstones!). I was in and out of L&D so many times starting at week 28, that when I went into labor for real (Husband had just come home from working 14 hour nights and had one hour of sleep) that a) he said he wasn’t leaving without a baby and b)I had her 15 minutes after they broke my water that if I ignored it that time, I would have had her at home.
Just relax and go in, it helps to be reassured.
Oh and that pregnancy - I can feel what you are going through. Because the gallstones showed up at 7 weeks and my OB felt strongly about surgery mid pregnancy - I was not allowed ANY fat during m,y pregnancy. I subsided on plain whole wheat pasta and saldas - no dressing and fruits/vegetables. IT. WAS. HEL. Had I ate any fat, it would have casued more gallbladder attacks and send me into labor more then I had happen on my own. Oh and they hurt like hell. End total put me at my lowest weight ever as an adult! I lost 50 pounds that pregnancy. But I didn’t look good - it came off too fast!
So hang in there and eat! And call if you need to!
June 26th, 2008 at 7:29 am
Um you only get one token?
WOW. I’m really really screwed.
June 26th, 2008 at 8:49 am
Uh, I think we get more than just one crazy token. Cash in as many as you need! And heartburn? Sucks. Check with your doc to see if you can take Digestive Enzymes…you can get them at GNC or health food stores. They help enormously.
June 26th, 2008 at 8:59 am
Crazy Town is busy with traffic. I personally could be found the first 13 weeks of pregnancy in the McDonalds drive-thru with a Fish Filet. I don’t eat them anymore but for 13 weeks…we were the best of friends.
June 26th, 2008 at 9:36 am
I was totally nuts the second time around. The first time I just got fat and was pregnant. The second time I had pre-term labor (which resulted on going on that awful pregnancy crack to stop contractions), heartburn, and a Gall Bladder that decided my body was no fun. Being “well-informed” the second time was my downfall
June 26th, 2008 at 9:45 am
Sounds pretty normal to me. (I nearly passed out towards the end of my second pregnancy - dehydrated from the still puking in the 9th month - and I felt ridiculous. You are almost there. Wish I could bring you something - tea, whiskey? You’re in my thoughts.)
June 26th, 2008 at 9:54 am
You’re fine–perfectly normal and not crazy. Heck, I’d have called about that and I’m not pregnant.
Tip on the heartburn (I had it WICKED bad when I was pregnant.) First, if you have any french friends, ask them to send a box of the little packets of french Gaviscon. It’s not the same as American, comes in little tubes of drinkable minty stuff, and works unbelievably. Cheap, too. I took it to my OB, and she was trying to figure out ways to import it.
Barring that, American Gaviscon can help. You chew tablets and drink water and it forms a gel coating over your stomach contents that neutralizes the acid and holds it down. The french one is a different neutralizer and much easier, but that one will work in a pinch. It’s much better than tums or rolaids for lasting, and would be a lot less sugar. They give it to heart patients in the hospital.
I don’t envy you. The heartburn was as bad as the healing from the tearing afterward. I was so glad when it finally was gone. I have had some recently, and I called my doc–I’m NOT going there again, pregnant or no.
Bonne chance, poupée.
June 26th, 2008 at 9:57 am
We get the Healthy Life wheat bread and buns. They are so much lower in carbs than other bread and they taste good.
All the pregnancy woes will soon be a distant memory. Hang in!
June 26th, 2008 at 11:20 am
I think you are brilliant. Nobody seems to be saying it, so I am. There. I said it.
June 26th, 2008 at 1:43 pm
I’m right there with you (though only 11 weeks). I’ve been so dizzy and headachey that I’ve been feeling something is off. I went at lunch today to a pharmacy and checked my blood pressure to make sure it was ok. It was a little high for me, but not in the dangerous levels… I don’t think you should ever feel weird when you call the doctor. I mean, what do we pay them thousands of dollars for!
KNow that you are SO not alone in the pregnant dizzy world!
June 26th, 2008 at 1:51 pm
I am a firm believer in for every week you are pregnant…you get a “get out of hormone” free card.
By my count you can freak at will over the next 7 weeks.
June 26th, 2008 at 2:02 pm
i’d kinda like someone to give me instructions to eat more..
haha.
see? silver lining!
June 26th, 2008 at 2:32 pm
You get as many tokens as you need!
ps. I thought it was understood that you’re brilliant. My bad for not saying first.
June 26th, 2008 at 2:40 pm
Oh, babe. I know. That last trimester sucks so bad. Actually, so do the first two.
I had gestational diabetes too, although I ended up on insulin. Lots of it. And it so sucks that, during the one time in your life when you’re supposed to be able to eat whatever you want, you instead count carbs like a hawk.
((hugs))
June 26th, 2008 at 3:30 pm
I agree with Kristen and Catnip… what is this ‘one token’ business? You get more tokens! I’m glad everything is okay. Go eat something.
June 26th, 2008 at 4:56 pm
Despite your frustration, I had to laugh! I think I called my midwife more on my last pregnancy than all my others combined. Continual worries. For no reason. Pregnancy is something you never become a pro at!
June 26th, 2008 at 6:21 pm
Gestational Diabetes is rough…I had it 3 times. The medication does help. But you HAVE to eat…just make sure to balance it and stick with what your doctor says you should do. Don’t get frustrated by it..the sugar will change as the baby grows, it’s not your fault, it just happens.
And as far as tolkens are concerned, you get as many as you need!!
June 26th, 2008 at 8:03 pm
Didn’t anyone tell you? After week 30 you get an unlimited supply (at least from your loyal readers who will always listen to you)! Don’t feel bad, that’s what OBs are for. We pay them enough, for f***’s sake, make them earn every penny!
June 26th, 2008 at 8:30 pm
Girl, I thought you got one token a day…….cut yourself a break! you can only do and be so much!
June 27th, 2008 at 10:10 am
Oh, dude — I hope you’re reading these comments and realizing that you are TOO hard on yourself. ONE Crazy Pregnant Lady token? Pshaw! I’d say it’s at least one per trimester… and depending on the circumstances (say, the Freakin’ Diabetus, or a husband who works Too Dang Much) it can be increased at will to one per week. Truly. Cut yourself some slack!
I have no help with the carb issues, but can only say that if I were in your shoes? There would be many CPL tokens being cashed in around here.
June 27th, 2008 at 2:08 pm
Sounded normal to me! I say you still have the token!!
June 27th, 2008 at 9:09 pm
hang in there you are almost done!!