I had a lovely post planned for today, an essay about the very few days left in The Poo’s life as an only child.
Instead, all I can think about is sleep.
Sleeeeeeeep.
Delightful, forbidden sleep.
You see, sleep has deserted me. Last night I went to be at 11 p.m. and I was STILL AWAKE at 4 a.m. this morning. Try as I might, I could not find a comfortable position.
Then my pants were bugging me. So I took them off.
My poor, long-suffering husband woke up briefly to note my lower half’s nudity in drowsy surprise. He hasn’t seen that area in many a moon.
I wrapped my hips around my huge pregnancy pillow and squeezed my eyes shut, praying for peaceful oblivian.
Then The Poo screamed from her bed.
Driving home from Wal-Mart this morning with The Poo’s summer-camp snack for tomorrow rattling around in the cargo bay of my minivan, I watched the suburban landscape roll by.
Houses rose up out of the corn fields with tiresome similarity and I opened my back door to see markers and crayons all over the floor. The sitter and The Poo left them there in their haste to move on to another game.
My day so far has been filled with chores and writing and waiting for carpet installers. I briefly browsed online for baby bottles, as this one-horse ‘burg my husband chose to study in doesn’t even have a decent baby-supply store.
Just for a moment today, I caught an angle of the sun that reminded me of The Cape.
Of hydrangea next to white porch railings and sand in my shoes.
Of the green snake of Herring Run and the scent of salt after dinner.
Of Emack & Bolio’s and the moonrise over Chatham Harbor.
The day of my confinement is tomorrow. After July 1, I am no longer allowed to venture past the borders of my restricted existence in Chambana.
Most days I feel fine, most days I am happy with my role as writer, wife and mother.
But today?
Today I feel as though all the shine has rubbed off, and that, at long last, the worst has happened.
That I have become a total bore.
June 30th, 2008 at 2:12 pm
I hear you, I totally get this. But if you’re such a bore, why are so many of us enthralled by your blog? (You can’t explain it, can you? ;)) Sounds like mostly a side effect of a really bad night’s sleep. Be gentle with yourself today and start all over tomorrow!
June 30th, 2008 at 3:11 pm
You feel like that because you are overtired. It makes everything cloudy. And you are not a bore. I’d tell you
June 30th, 2008 at 3:20 pm
i hear you, but darlin’, you’re worn out, is all.
trust me, as someone who’s been confined for fourteen weeks already and is due more than a month after you…the bore is not in what you DO. it’s on the inside. (do NOT disillusion me on this ;)). and if you can get your mind rested, you’ll find that you are not the sum of your suburban landscape.
June 30th, 2008 at 3:32 pm
Ugh, no sleep. I feel you chicky. I was up most of the night but then a miracle happened this afternoon, I napped. I think it was more of a pass out, but it was sleep either way. So now the house is a mess and I am looking at another sleepless night. I also ordered bottles on line because stores around here have never heard of BPA free. So I am afraid I am just as much of a bore as you my dear. So I will dream about Chatham too, it was part of my honeymoon.
June 30th, 2008 at 4:07 pm
I remember it well ~ being very pregnant and not being able to sleep ~ it sucks!!
Hope that you manage to have a relaxing day tomorrow!! XX
June 30th, 2008 at 4:54 pm
natch, sister…a woman without pants can never be boring.
June 30th, 2008 at 5:40 pm
Get thee some Tylenol PM!
June 30th, 2008 at 6:24 pm
What do you want from Emack and Bolio’s? I can bring you some from BN and you can pick it up at my new digs on Mattis St.
June 30th, 2008 at 7:12 pm
Insomnia at the end of pregnancy is nature’s cruelest joke. Just when you need the rest the most, you can’t get it. It’s so dreadfully unfair.
The blahs are most likely due to sleep deprivation. Hang in there. I actually had insomnia so badly at the end of my second pregnancy that I was actually getting more sleep after the baby arrived.
June 30th, 2008 at 8:08 pm
I was going to tell you the bright side of pregnancy insomnia is that sometimes you get more sleep after baby arrives, but Kimberly beat me to it.
That’s what happened for me after D was born! Hang in there, you’re almost done!
June 30th, 2008 at 8:25 pm
You are anything but boring Mrs. Chicken. I know your pain. I was there but a mere 10.5 months ago. It will pass.
Besides, it’s nice to know it wasn’t just me not getting any sleep throughout the final trimester!
Good luck, really, on the snoozing.
June 30th, 2008 at 8:38 pm
nap. oh sweet merciful god please let me have a nap
June 30th, 2008 at 9:40 pm
Not a bore, just a gagillion months pregnant.
Hang in there sweets. Soon. Very soon.
June 30th, 2008 at 11:20 pm
You could never be a bore! You are pregnant and tired!! It will get better in a few years, promise! heh!!
July 1st, 2008 at 12:53 am
Could be worse chickee! I had 10 WEEKS of bedrest with my first son. And this was pre-internet and even pre-home computer (yes, I’m THAT old!). My gosh, I thought I’d DIE of boredom. This too shall pass and then you’ll have a darling baby to cuddle.
July 1st, 2008 at 5:25 am
You, Mrs C, are many things… but you’re certainly not boring. In fact, I think “being boring” is one thing you have utterly failed to be, try as you might.
(I kid, I kid…)
But seriously… no baby supply shop? Wow… that’s hard to fathom for me… I mean, even in our normal stores we have huge baby sections that have a wide variety of bottles, formula and baby food, if not the bigger things like prams and cots. I really feel for you…
The next few weeks will probably pass by quicker than you think, especially if you simply live one day at a time. Days themselves will seem to drag, and then one day, you’re going to wake up and it’ll be August 8th and you’re going to wonder where the hell the time went.
Until then… try to get some rest. ^_^
July 1st, 2008 at 6:17 am
Oh, Honey! fear not, the end is nigh!!! My Mum says that pregnancy insomnia is nature’s way of preparing us for the sleepless nights to come, which is NOT AT ALL COMFORTING!!! In time, you will look back on this and sigh with relief.
July 1st, 2008 at 7:37 am
No sleep for you either, huh? I feel your pain. While I was pregnant and all happy, someone told me that once I had children I would never sleep the same. I just laughed it off thinking, “you don’t know how well I sleep, buddy!” Guess who’s laughing now? It sure ain’t me!
July 1st, 2008 at 8:52 am
You’re so boring I don’t think I can be your friend anymore. Giggle.
July 1st, 2008 at 8:11 pm
You’re not a bore you are just in the final weeks of pregnancy, try to get some rest I know it is hard I hated the last 4 weeks of my last pregnancy.
July 1st, 2008 at 8:38 pm
Never, not you. You just have to understand that you have become your child, “Just find something to do. Imagine!’
Gawd, that annoyed me, can I take it back. Being stuck sucks.