It is a lovely day here on the prairie, sunny and hot. The kind of day that begs for a morning at the pool or time spent wandering the farmer’s market in search of the perfect, sweet peach.
Alas, I am home, in my nightgown, on the sofa.
I am at T-minus 10 days and counting until Shaggy arrives, and I’ve finally come to the realization that I simply cannot do everything I want to.
My house is messy, left untended since my unusually energetic (and long-time neat freak) mother-in-law left town on Wednesday morning. Mr. Chicken is helpful, but not the kind of domestic helpful that keeps a house in order.
Asking him to empty the dishwasher is apparently akin to asking him to solve the mysteries of the universe. By the time I get done directing him, cajoling him, and then re-doing what he did wrong, I might as well do it myself.
So there are dishes piled high in the sink, sippy cups all over the house and laundry waiting to be done.
The fridge is full of expired food, produce I bought with high hopes rotting in the crisper. I can’t cook - because every afternoon at 4 p.m. the contractions begin.
A vaginal exam yesterday revealed that Shaggy’s head is so far down in my pelvis that it had to be manually moved aside in order to see if my cervix has dilated. I’m still locked up like a virgin on prom night, but the boy is banging on the emergency exit.
My head is at war with my body, as I try to decide whether it would be better to go into labor, precipitating an emergency c-section, or to keep him inside until the troops arrive to care for The Poo while I am in the hospital.
Aug. 11 seems very, very far off, especially when I go light-headed from the pain in my right rib, where every weekly ultrasound reveals a set of large toes poking the underside of my thoracic cavity. Eating Tylenol and iron pills, I lay in bed seething with frustration as my To-Do List goes undone.
Even writing is painful now. The words come slow and hard, ideas floating just out of my reach. All three of my remaining brain cells are at war, each one wanting to go in a separate direction.
This morning I really wanted to go to the market. I wanted peaches and blueberries, which will be out of season by the time I’m able to get there again.
I thought about getting dressed and waddling through the crowds. But then the pressure between my legs began to throb again, and simple tasks like toasting frozen waffles and fetching drinks for The Poo were akin to scaling Mt. Everest.
So I sit. And I rest. And I wait.
And I realize that I am limited, at least for the time being.
The next ten days will be excruciating for me, on both a physical and mental level. But at the end, I finally get to meet our son.
That is the only thing - that and The Poo - that is keeping me sane right now.
August 2nd, 2008 at 11:21 am
Ok, they had to move his head? Me thinks the boy wants to get out! LOL.
Sorry you’re feeling so…well, everything that you feel at the very end of a pregnancy. I hate being unable to accomplish things; that simple feeling of accomplishment is what keeps me going most days.
If I were close I would bring you blueberries and peaches; I would help you with your to-do list. Instead I can merely say to hang in there and try to enjoy the rest you are getting. Ignore the mess (yes, I know) and do the little things while you’re on the couch.
August 2nd, 2008 at 11:22 am
poor you. I had that same thing with my 2nd and my midwife said it’s quite common for baby number 2 to get quite far down as its roomier down there
I even got a stretch mark on my err … Area
Just rest.. My friend. Do you feel like he might come early?
August 2nd, 2008 at 11:49 am
The thought of the moving of his head, kinda made me want to scream outloud. Can you ask your husband to go and get peaches and blueberries?
I’m sorry you’re so uncomfortable. Hopefully Shaggy being so far down will jump start something. Hang in there.
August 2nd, 2008 at 11:50 am
If I could bring you peaches and blueberries I would.
August 2nd, 2008 at 12:01 pm
Oh how I wiah I could help you! Try and rest. The housework can wait, though the OCD side of me knows how you feel. Take care! August 11st is SO SOON!
August 2nd, 2008 at 12:07 pm
Oh man, I know how you feel, Meenie was like that for so long, it felt like I was walking around with a bowling ball between my legs.
Hang in there!
August 2nd, 2008 at 12:16 pm
With you.
August 2nd, 2008 at 2:49 pm
You’re almost there. You are in my thoughts.
August 2nd, 2008 at 3:04 pm
What do you need done? I’m happy to help anytime - just let me know what you want. I swear it’ll get done.
Since our lunch date might not happen, how about I bring take out to your place? I don’t care if the house is messy (you should see my place).
One more week to go. 8 days. It’ll fly by.
August 2nd, 2008 at 3:12 pm
L and I brought you, Pooh, lbotp and peanut fresh blueberries from Michigan.
Lemme know when I can drop them off.
August 2nd, 2008 at 4:45 pm
Oh yeah. I know that pelvic pressure well…it was even worse with #3. Ugh, and those last days being pregnant both drag and fly by at the same time.
August 2nd, 2008 at 9:31 pm
You poor dear. I remember those days all to clearly. Even though you are resting you are hard at work keeping that baby safe inside.
August 2nd, 2008 at 11:12 pm
you are so very almost done. you hero, you.
August 3rd, 2008 at 1:07 am
I cannot wait for you to meet your kid.
August 3rd, 2008 at 9:11 am
I know this may sound trite, though I certainly don’t want it to, but if at all possible, maybe you could just accept that this is how it is. Your current situation is out of your control. If you look at is as if there is nothing that you can change except your reaction to it, then it may be easier to deal with. You are not able to jump up every time the Poo needs something, you are not able to run around the farmers’ market, you are not able to do everything. But if you look at it, would you necessarily be doing all of those things if you weren’t at then end of gestating? Perhaps your wanting to do all of these things is because you can’t. Perhaps you should take a nice soak in the tub, light a few candles and revel in the current chaos. In just a few days, everything will be different, so try to enjoy this time for what it is. Moments in your life. Savor them for what they are.
August 3rd, 2008 at 9:46 am
Oh, honey. You are just being prepped for what’s to come. You will be limited for a while after the baby comes, and that’s o.k. Try and enjoy these changes in your life as long as you can, the other things will get done somehow, sometime, someway (is that a song??) Meanwhile, I’ll wish the tiny maid fairies over to your house.
August 3rd, 2008 at 3:53 pm
I am still keeping my fingers crossed that you will go into labor sooner. Of course that would just be a nice slow labor that would give you time for the back up to show up and but fast enough for the doctor to decide you better just have Shaggy now. I on the other hand have 41 days left and as of last night my back is just refusing to let me sleep. So I should be delightful. So for now I am just going to think about you and not about me.
August 3rd, 2008 at 6:50 pm
I so wish we all could come over and do it all for you like an army of fairy godmothers! I remember that waiting with my little one (she was late), and having to let it all fall away, and it was almost unbearable, all of that waiting. We wait with you!