I never got this close to my due date with The Poo.
On Dec. 3, I went for my first weekly OB appointment, and I shared my suspicions that the girl was breech.
“This has to be her head,” I said, paper napkin sheet draped over my knees. “Feel here.” I took the doctor’s hand and rubbed it hard against my ribcage.
“Feel that?” I said.
She was skeptical, but she promised to check me thoroughly. Just a few second later, from between the bridge made by my feet in the stirrups, she confirmed my fears.
“I feel feet here,” she said.
At that moment, the c-section train left the station. The next day an ultrasound showed my girl kneeling inside me, like a supplicant at the altar. The surgery was scheduled for Dec. 15, just on the edge of my 38th week, around the holidays.
My due date was Dec. 24.
I carried her so easily, with only minor discomfort. I never had a single Braxton-Hicks contraction, never had trouble walking due to pelvic pressure. The worst of it was that, every now and then, she’d flex her little toes and get tangled up in my sciatic nerve, making me almost black out from an indescribable pain.
But that was uncommon.
In fact, two days before she was born, I walked the mall buying Christmas presents for my mother.
This time has been totally different.
Those of you who’ve followed me these nine months (and how I thank you for that) know I’ve struggled this time. Nausea lasted well into my second trimester. Fatigue was dreadful. Mr. Chicken was unavailable. I was homesick and unable to travel solo to ease the ache.
Braxton-Hicks contractions set in early, and sometimes severely.
Then I had the shock of my life, amping up my anxiety to unforeseen levels and rendering my uterus “irritable” (their words, not mine) for the remaining days of my pregnancy.
Sunday was especially hard. My nausea returned, and with it other intestinal upsets. Already worried that I’ll go into labor without anyone here to care for our daughter while I am in surgery, I play a game of mental Full Monty - “under this shell, you’re in the OR alone, under the other shell The Poo is with an unknown entity while you are opened up.”
I made my lumbering way upstairs at 11:30 a.m., still in my PJs. I swallowed a slug of antacid and holed up on the guest bed. After an hour of looking at cupcake photos on Flickr, I decided I had to at least pretend I was still capable of the small tasks.
I dressed The Poo and went for a shower.
I stood in the bathroom door, looking at my husband. “How are you?” he asked.
That was all it took. The tears came.
How do I feel? Like shit. Like I am more pregnant than anyone else in the world. I hurt from rib to thigh and I’m afraid to go into labor and I’m afraid not to.
I asked for a hug, and got one. Then my husband patted my back and said:
“OK, now buck up.”
I laughed through my tears. This response is so perfect, so typical, so illustrative of the “shake it off” school of comforting with which my husband was raised. Get back up and do your best. Stiff upper lip.
Buck up.
So I did. I showered, dressed and made myself my lunch. I mustered enough energy to feed The Poo and offer Mr. C a sandwich.
Just a few more days to go.
August 4th, 2008 at 1:42 am
blimey. You’re being good. I am such a bad patient at the end. I had pubic dysfunction with both mine. Which is horrendous pain with every step, move, twist, stretch.. And boy did i let everyone know about it!
lol
Best wishes for the next few days x
August 4th, 2008 at 6:35 am
awww, I’m sorry. I hope you get feeling better really soon and that soon you won’t even remember all this pain!
August 4th, 2008 at 6:54 am
I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way and hope that the remaining time passes by quickly and with less pain (physical and emotional). Nearly there!
August 4th, 2008 at 6:57 am
hehe..love that he let you get it all out and then told you buck up. Good man you have there.
Soon you’ll be feeling like yourself again AND have your little one to hold without the pain
August 4th, 2008 at 6:57 am
I feel for you, even more so because you’re going through this in freaking August. You’re so, so close … as it is, I keep thinking I’m going to open each post to find a newborn pic waiting!
August 4th, 2008 at 7:17 am
You know, I never thought about it, but when I was carrying Moe (also breech) it was much easier than the other two.
I know your sick of hearing this, but hang in there, only 7 days left.
August 4th, 2008 at 8:24 am
OH hang in there, let it out and try not to worry. YOu are so close and you will make it. This week is a long one for us in squirrelly ville too. Not waiting on a baby, but a life-changing move for my hubby and his carrer which would take us across state lines. Try and keep yourself busy! I know I will be!
August 4th, 2008 at 8:28 am
Buck up, lol, like there is anything else we can do?!?! Oh Mrs C, I hope you have an easy day today.
August 4th, 2008 at 8:28 am
“Just a few more days to go!” Remember that and “dry your eyes princess” (as my very British stiff upper lip other half would say - “Buck up!” made me think of it
Seriously though, hang in there.
And “like a supplicant at an alter” - wow! You write so well.
August 4th, 2008 at 8:52 am
I’m not sure if “buck up” is the right way to do it, but at least he made you laugh! If only he could be pregnant for just one day, he’d know the truth and serve you like the queen that you are.
August 4th, 2008 at 9:08 am
Hey, on the bright side, you’ll soon have some good drugs to help with the c-section pain.
I’m not that helpful am I?
I completely understand the misery though! It IS all worth it, I promise.
August 4th, 2008 at 9:22 am
I love it… the whole story brought me happiness - knowing that you can “buck up” means that you are doing “ok” at the very least !
my son was 5 weeks early, emergency c - so i have no idea what is in store for me this time around… 3 or maybe 2 months left ???
BTW: i hate the “How are you?” questions… i respond ” You really want me to b*tch and complain more ? “
August 4th, 2008 at 9:43 am
You are so close. I was just talking with the husband on Saturday about how miserable I was this time last year when I was at 37 weeks. I so get where you’re coming from.
If there is anything us internets can do, just say the word.
Hug.
August 4th, 2008 at 10:12 am
thinking of you….
August 4th, 2008 at 11:00 am
Aww, hang in there. I remember those last few days. They take forever!
August 4th, 2008 at 11:06 am
So if he went further like with a “Buck up, little camper or Sport” would you have had the opposite reaction?
Good Luck, I have been there, even past the due date, and prayed for sweet relief and then the real trouble started.
August 4th, 2008 at 11:07 am
You know, even now, just 3 months after being in similarly pinched shoes, I’m not sure I wouldn’t screw up and say something foolish. Good for you for pushing through.
xo
A
August 4th, 2008 at 11:18 am
Oh babe. Your husband is great…and so are you.
August 4th, 2008 at 11:22 am
Hang in there! It’s almost over!
Soon you’ll have your little Shaggy in your arms, instead of kicking out your ribs!
August 4th, 2008 at 11:35 am
Wow - you’re tough. Way to go, Mrs. C! Just a couple days left!
August 4th, 2008 at 12:51 pm
Why the hell can’t men have babies?? It’s so not fair! Hope the time passes quickly for ya!
August 4th, 2008 at 1:51 pm
With Evan I threw up every day up to and including the day he was born. So I so know what you’re going through, at least with the nausea.
Next Monday’s the day, yes?
August 4th, 2008 at 3:04 pm
You are doing great. I hope things go well for the next few days- it’s getting closer with every minute!
August 4th, 2008 at 3:44 pm
Buck up, huh? I’da kicked him in the balls. And then felt really bad and hugged him again.
I’m sorry you’re in so much pain, and that this pregnancy has been so challenging. I know even “just a few more days” can feel like a month. Hang in there, camper. (Wait, that’s almost as bad as ‘buck up’, isn’t it.)
August 4th, 2008 at 4:32 pm
did you offer to shake him into his senses? OMG, you are so strong….lest, this one man would be ball-less today
August 4th, 2008 at 7:42 pm
Sending lots of good thoughts–and not a single platitude, I promise!
Except, hang in there…(okay, just one)
August 4th, 2008 at 8:16 pm
You’ve had such a rough pregnancy. I really do feel for you. Hang in - the end is in sight.