Yesterday was a bad day, yo.
I didn’t get a shower and I freaked out because the baby slept too much (I know, someone, please give me a Valium), and the only clean underpants I had were those huge, stretchy ones that reach my ribcage and dude, I was not in the MOOD for those panties.
Can they even be called “panties?” Panties are wee and lacy. Giant pink cottony thingies are UNDERPANTS.
I am all over the map. In fact, I think someone took my map, and doodled all over it, and I am following the deranged doodle of a person who has clearly never had a child before.
Sigh.
Today is better.
Today I ate. Some food. I know! Food! Did you know they have this stuff called “fruit?” And it is, like so good, like NOM NOM NOM GIVE! ME! ANOTHER! ORANGE! good?
I also showered, and fed Shaggy some soy formula. We had a doctor’s appointment yesterday to follow up on the hospital stay, and doc thinks the boy is developing a milk protein allergy, so soy it is. If that doesn’t work then onto that other really expensive formula that starts with an “A” (aluminum? allumenium? olly olly in free?) and/or Zantac.
The stridor gives him reflux. And the formula gives him a wicked bellyache. Shit, I’d scream, too. It’s a relief to know there is a cause for it.
Because I secretly, shamefully, thought Shaggy was just acting kind of like an asshole. And who wants to think their baby, especially one who is, let’s face it, SO FUCKING CUTE, is acting like an asshole?
He’s not. He’s a darling boy whose smile makes me want to fall on the floor from THE CUTE. He loves me, too. At least, I think that’s what he’s trying to say when he smashes his skull into my collarbones.
Knowing there is a cause, and possibly a cure, made The HOT Fuss!™ so much easier to cope with last night. And I won’t say anything else about last night, lest my bravado let loose another round of karmic ass-kicking.
Yeah, yeah, I should have just breastfed the little guy. Dudes like the boob, ya’ll. Unless you’re in a plane. Then they want you to cover that shit UP.
What’s with all the swearing today? Geesh.
I still have that sinus infection, and never fear, my congenital pessimism will rear it’s ugly head again soon, and I’ll commence whining about how HARD this all is and HOW do people DO it and hey, Gywneth, GO FUCK YOURSELF.
You know, I used to feel a kinship to old Gwyn. Her dad died, you know, and she was pretty broken up about it. Then she got all Hipper Than Thou. Not cool, buddy, not cool.
Today is better. I have a shitload of writing to do, and the laundry is off the HOOK, but I’m alive and so are the kids.
Baby steps, friends, baby steps.
September 25th, 2008 at 2:06 pm
I’m totally down with the swearing! *lol* As a matter of fact, I have a recent post on ye old blog about it. Well it was in response to someone ripping Dooce a new ass over her letting Leta swear…anyhow, am glad to hear that the hospital stay didn’t net anything SERIOUS or HORRIBLE. I can’t imagine how stressful that must of been, especially with another little one at home.
Showers are wonderful things aren’t they? It’s amazing how feeling clean and smelling good can change ones outlook on lots of things. *lol*
Glad things are on the upswing. Oh and more pictures of that darling little boy! Lordy he’s so cute I just wanna squeeze him!
September 25th, 2008 at 2:14 pm
This post made me laugh out loud! It’s a whole different tone, like you had a guest poster. You takin’ something you wanna share with the rest of us darlin’?
kidding.
Glad you’re all doing fine!!
September 25th, 2008 at 2:29 pm
Hope the soy stuff works for you. That Aluminumiuminum stuff is rank. My sister in law had to use it and the smell is foul. Wow, glad I could be here to brighten your day.
But hey, good job on the fruit and shower and all!
September 25th, 2008 at 2:31 pm
oh man….this is the Mrs. Chicken I particularly love….
September 25th, 2008 at 2:31 pm
I’m so glad you’re finding the humor. And you know, most of us think our babies/kids can be assholes sometimes, no matter how cute they are!
I really hope the soy formula helps.
September 25th, 2008 at 2:37 pm
So, this post is rather like what might come out if you and Amalah had a baby and it came out as a BLOG.
September 25th, 2008 at 2:38 pm
I remember thinking both of my children were just being assholes. I feel guilty about it now, but I remind myself that I still loved them and my thoughts of “assholishness” didn’t harm them.
I also remember thinking that it would be easier the 2nd time around and in some ways it was and others it wasn’t. I felt like my previous experience should have given me the step up in my parenting skills. It just doesn’t work that way.
If at the end of the day you’re all alive, it is a good day!
September 25th, 2008 at 2:49 pm
Well, it’s good that today was better. And I agree about Gwyneth. I love her and the preview of that website looks nice and all but gimme a break! She’s a bazillionaire who has never been anything but a bazillionaire. She can scoop her goop up with that silver spoon and shove it right in her tiny behind.
September 25th, 2008 at 3:20 pm
delurking to say… we had issues with milk based and soy based formula (soy’s also a big allergen). The only way we made it through the first 6 months was with rice formula. It’s pricey but worth it for a non~upset tummy. Just thought I’d throw that out there.
Hang in there…
September 25th, 2008 at 3:28 pm
No kidding I want to like Gwennyth but good god- I.JUST.CANT. So full of shit, that one is..
September 25th, 2008 at 3:28 pm
We did that alimem-in-whosit thing with our eldest between boob and whole milk because he had the freaking worst eczema ever!!!! It smelled bad and it was expensive. Oh, and his eczema was just a siren to warn us of impending peanut allergy! and more eczema! and asthma!
I’m just a merry ray o’ sunshine in your comment box aren’t I? Fashizzle. You know it.
September 25th, 2008 at 3:40 pm
Poor Shaggy! Poor you! Hope there’s no milk protein or soy allergy (my daughter can’t tolerate cow’s milk either, and she’s almost 2). One thing you could consider as an alternative to formula is Milkshare (http://milkshare.birthingforlife.com/). I donated quite a lot of milk this way; you might get lucky and find someone (maybe even someone whose diet is dairy-free) looking to place a freezer stash.
September 25th, 2008 at 3:44 pm
It’s alimentum - I had to use it with my second son - he’s still using it ‘cuz as a toddler he’s a crappy eater and needs the nurshiment of that expensive stuff. Also - breastfeeding would also be a nightmare. My lil’ guy was so pissed at all the foods I was eating that I basically started eating rice, turkey, and fruits. He was MUCH better and I lost a TON of weight. It was hard - and not any easier than trying out new formulas.
And yeah, I thought the second time would be much easier, but this little bugger is keeping me on my toes.
September 25th, 2008 at 3:47 pm
Yeah, babies (and other children) can be total assholes. What’s their deal?
And even though my kinder could be total jerks, I still love ‘em to bits.
Seriously, love this post. I concur with Cynthia.
And I have a hard time liking ole Gwen as well.
September 25th, 2008 at 4:02 pm
I so totally love you.
September 25th, 2008 at 4:11 pm
We did breast and soy formula for baby #2. He was waking at night with gas, grunting and groaning in his sleep, and really squirming. The soy formula must have done the trick because he became a much quieter sleeper. And he had absolutely no problem switching to real milk at age 1.
And what’s with the name “GOOP”? Like I really want to go to a celebrity parenting site called GOOP. I try to stay away from GOOP as much as possible!
September 25th, 2008 at 4:34 pm
Hi,
I’m H. and I work in a company interested in blog advertising. I found your blog engaging and I’m contacting you to ask if you are interested in blog post sponsorship.
If you are interested, kindly mail back at k5ino@bigstring.com, indicating your blog for reference, and I’ll send you back pricing details, guidelines and processes. Looking forward to doing business with you.
Sincerely,
H.
September 25th, 2008 at 4:51 pm
Hey, I’m delurking here too because of your alimentum mention. My sister and bro-in-law had to use that stuff with both of their babies because of protein allergies. The upside is that she found a site where you can score coupons for that stuff, so she used all of the family’s addresses to get everyone on the mailing list for coupons! Keep that in mind, if you end up having to go that route. Good luck!
September 25th, 2008 at 7:08 pm
Ah, it’s nice to see a little of that cloudiness clear away. Okay, sidetrack. I just became immediately annoyed at $17 up there. Dude… not right. I hope the soy formula works out for you!
September 25th, 2008 at 8:01 pm
Babysteps indeed, love. Hang in.
September 25th, 2008 at 8:27 pm
I love when you get all riled up. It makes me HOT.
Glad your day was better!
September 25th, 2008 at 9:28 pm
Thank you for the good, good laugh.
September 25th, 2008 at 11:12 pm
if i was loaded i’d be freaking hotastic too. so we can’t compare ourselves to those chicks. you, babe..you shine no matter what.
September 26th, 2008 at 3:55 am
I don’t know if you accept awards, but I have one waiting for you over at my place. I figured you needed and deserved one.
September 26th, 2008 at 8:00 am
If I lived in your town, I would totally bring you over some delicious homemade mac and cheese.
September 26th, 2008 at 8:02 am
Alimentum saved L’s life. It doesn’t smell that bad - but we had to use the pre-made stuff so maybe that is the difference. Schnucks has it the cheapest which always made us laugh because that just doesn’t sound right.
Ask your ped for some and next time you are on the 8th floor - they are very cool about stashin some for you
September 26th, 2008 at 3:51 pm
Loved this - made me laugh my little ass off
September 26th, 2008 at 8:38 pm
Couldn’t agree with you more about Gwenyth - I wanna smack her. Hard.
September 27th, 2008 at 1:13 pm
If you would like to breastfeed now, it is possible. I have counselled mothers before who found out that their babies were allergic to cow AND soy, and it is possible to get your milk supply back. Think about it! Best wishes, and feel free to cuss anytime!