Winter Driving Tips From Mrs. Chicken

by Mrs. Chicken on December 18, 2008

  1. If the weatherman predicts an ice storm for the next day, IT IS NOT NECESSARY TO DRIVE WITH EXTREME CAUTION THE DAY BEFORE THE PREDICTED STORM.
  2. When an ice storm does hit, STAY HOME.
  3. When the posted speed limit is 35 mph, IT IS NOT NECESSARY TO DRIVE AT 30 MPH.
  4. If you are driving under the posted speed limit, DO NOT DRIVE IN THE PASSING LANE.
  5. When a wild-eyed woman in a minivan with two car seats, one of which is occupied by an infant, is tailgating you while frantically negotiating with the pediatrician’s nurse because she is now 15 minutes late for the last appointment she can get before she leaves for a three-state holiday odyssey thanks to the JACKASS DRIVING OF YOU JACKASS MOFOS WHO DON’T KNOW HOW TO DRIVE IN THE WINTER, do both her and you a favor, AND GET THE FUCK OVER.

{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }

Heather December 18, 2008 at 12:17 pm

Amen.

Heather from Domestic Extraordinaire December 18, 2008 at 12:20 pm

Amen, sister, A-freakin’-men.

I will think of you as you descend on my neck of the woods.

amy@milkbreathandmargariats December 18, 2008 at 1:31 pm

HA– sorry about that whole thing, but funny!!

ali December 18, 2008 at 2:21 pm

oh dear god, yes.
thank you.
they are calling for 20cm of snow TONIGHT. so, why are people driving slowly NOW? when there’s NO SNOW AT ALL??!?!?

Misc December 18, 2008 at 4:09 pm

AMEN! What I’m wondering is why schools an hour south of C-U were closed today when there was no snow/ice/icky weather predicted for there until maybe tomorrow. Strange.

Jennifer, Playgroups are no place for children December 18, 2008 at 4:25 pm

You would abhor driving in Tennessee. Dear lord the forecast of possible snow 40 miles away gets people in a tizzy here.

Karly December 18, 2008 at 4:51 pm

You forgot to add “OR I WILL CUT YOU.” to the end of that last sentence, but otherwise you sound just like me.

Issa December 18, 2008 at 6:03 pm

I love this. I do, I just love it.

Carrie December 18, 2008 at 7:19 pm

Missy, I don’t understand the school closings either. It seemed like all the schools in the area closed yesterday (when roads were kind of crappy) and then made a preemptive announcement that bit them in the ass when everything was fine.

flutter December 19, 2008 at 1:52 am

a-friggin-men

Meg December 19, 2008 at 11:05 pm

So, it was a good day?

Tracey December 20, 2008 at 1:06 pm

you can say that again!!!