Comments on: Payback

By: Jonathan

Jonathan — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 20:28:05 +0000

We see our own behaviour in our children all the time. It’s scary…

By: Coco

Coco — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 14:55:37 +0000

Oh, God. I so know this feeling. Badger is EXACTLY like me, personality-wise, and right now he is really struggling with the impatience, the temper, the being so easily frustrated that he quits as soon as a single little thing thwarts him.

I can only hold him and say “I know. I know it seems hard and you’re upset. But you CAN. You can do it.”

And my husband laughs at me, not unkindly, because the world pisses me off in just the same ways.

By: Christina

Christina — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 02:53:23 +0000

I was one of those kids who was timid to try anything new. And now I have a preschooler who is not just timid around new things, but completely terrified and unwilling to try. It’s not just payback – it’s payback with interest.

Hopefully all of your best traits will be reflected in her along with some of the ones that frustrate you.

By: LD

LD — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 14:58:01 +0000

It might be that she takes after you– or it might be that she’s still too young for something like soccer camp. I mean, she’s not even in school yet- right?

This isn’t to say that she hasn’t inherited some of your wonderful qualities, but maybe she just isn’t ready.

By: Mary

Mary — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 06:12:25 +0000

This part is so hard with parenting. I don’t know if you’ve experienced it like this but do not go unloading on your own mother about it. Mine gets this unholy enjoyment out of watching me struggle with each of mine.
What works best for me with my girls is to let them know that I have felt that too. The frustration, the part that gets so scated to try because you are so scared of the failure. The neat part is when they got just a little older I could challenge them to stand up and face it even if they were scared just to see what happens. Now, sometimes they will face it down before talking to me and then share the truimph with me!

By: DD

DD — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 00:47:37 +0000

What’s worse than a payback is when the parent doesn’t recognize themself at all in their child. My husband must have thought he was the perfect child and rides my son around like a swayback pony about his poor reading skills; his lack of athletic ability; his “laziness” and it makes me so angry b/c my MIL tells me that he was JUST LIKE MY SON at that age.

By: Carrie

Carrie — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 22:21:31 +0000

Ah, “the payback” is strong in my house too. In many, many ways. I always feel like it’s life’s most cruelest joke at times, but know this – they benefit from our awareness of it.

By: Jennifer

Jennifer — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 20:58:29 +0000

I was that kid. And sometimes, I am that adult. My husband recognizes it, and brings it to my attention swiftly. I hate this about myself, yet seem unable to completely banish it. We’re trying to get pregnant, and fear these faults will become glaringly obvious once we’re parents. What a good mom you are to recognize this about yourself–and your daughter–and try to help her overcome it. Isn’t that what all parents want? For their kids to learn from their mistakes?

By: Kathy

Kathy — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 20:37:52 +0000

I have trust in you Ms. C. – really I do! You have worked hard to brighten your outlook but I think brightening The Poo’s will be easier. You have already taken the biggest step, leading by example.

Hang in there.

Kathy U

By: whereartthoubrother

whereartthoubrother — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 15:44:59 +0000

We’ll have to spend some together soon