Comments on: Stuck In The Middle

By: Issa

Issa — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 21:09:20 +0000

From one pessimist to another? I totally get this. I am constantly fighting being disappointing, yet still enjoying myself. Is never easy.

Hugs to you.

By: LD

LD — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 14:19:35 +0000

I don’t know if this helps, but I think for me, I’ve had to come to terms with the fact that I can’t really be a daughter, sister, and mother all the same way or at the same time. For me, at least, it’s a matter of priorities–and right now, mother comes out on top. Everything else is secondary to that, so that I don’t worry so much about being the best daughter or best sister possible– they had me in those roles for 25 years before I got my new gig. And, once my kids are grown and moved out, there will be time to turn back to those old roles again.

By: Em

Em — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 06:13:55 +0000

Totally understand where you are coming from. In fact, I feel like I may have had your vacation this year. Life is about managing expectations.

By: Bon

Bon — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 01:27:04 +0000

i MOVED home. after 15 years away. and no place in the world can make me feel so small and insecure. and yet…and yet.

this was a beautiful piece of writing about a hard thing.

By: jess

jess — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 23:40:08 +0000

Gah, I am saying (along with most other people, it looks like,) I HEAR YOU!! It’s so frustrating. I have exactly the same experience when I go home. Enjoy the cape anyway, I’ll be looking after the other coast.

By: apathy lounge

apathy lounge — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 15:09:06 +0000

Precisely why I don’t take vacations with my extended family any more.

By: mayberry

mayberry — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 14:30:02 +0000

It is so very hard to parent in “public,” even–probably especially–when that public is your own family. I hope the ocean can still work its magic. Take care.

By: C @ Kid Things

C @ Kid Things — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 14:09:59 +0000

I very rarely visit my parents’ house, the same house I spent my entire childhood growing up in, anymore because they have too much stuff, and my kids like to get into stuff. Plus, it’s like walking on eggshells on top of it.

By: Heather from Domestic Extraordinaire

Heather from Domestic Extraordinaire — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 04:56:37 +0000

If you guys ever get a chance to move back “home” you, it will be different. Well, at least it was for me. When we visited it was always so hard. I struggled with where to fit in. But now that I am back here, in the thick of it, I think I am doing better than when I was here before we were married.

Good luck hon. xoxo

By: Kristin T. (@kt_writes)

Kristin T. (@kt_writes) — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 04:28:34 +0000

I was doing a whole lot of nodding as I read this. First of all, I HATE the way I revert back to my old, moody, stubborn ways when I go home. It’s like puberty all over again. Ack! The fact that I’ve been excited about going home and have built expectations around the trip only make me feel more miserable and trapped with my worst self.

And although I can completely imagine telling myself I should “just stay home” if I’m going to be so miserable, it’s never as easy as that. We have such complicated needs and desires, and they’re plunged into such complicated realities. Of *course* a part of you wants to be in some other place (and even time) than the one you find yourself in. The trick probably isn’t to stop feeling that way; the trick is to learn how to roll with those feelings. I sure haven’t figured it out yet!