Hello, Interwebz!
Mr. C and I invited a pal to dinner last night, a lovely gal whose husband is away on an extended trip. Of course, with The Babyman and The Poo, the house was an absolute disaster by 4 p.m.
Our guest was due to arrive at 5:30, and I was elbow-deep in homemade pizza dough and sauce prep. When Mr. C got home, he shook his head at the swath of detritus littering the kitchen floor and started to tidy up.
So what did he do first?
Why, CLEAN THE TV, OF COURSE.
Yes, you heard me. He got that little blue bottle of special cleaner and that soft cloth and got to work making the 42-inch LCD screen SHINE, ladies and gents.
Now, let me back up just a bit.
Mr. C and I had one of our All-Time Greatest Marital Spats™ over cleaning the TV. We were prepping the house for some gathering or other, and as I washed floors, cooked and wiped out toilets, he labored lovingly over the TV and the TV stand.
He gathered all the DVDs and organized them, stacked the remotes, dusted the drawers out. He cleaned the FUCK out of that TV and TV stand.
While I did EVERYTHING ELSE.
So we had it out. In the end, he maintained that cleaning/organizing the TV stand is something that needs to be done on a regular basis, and especially when company comes, because it has such a prominent place in our family living area.
Me? Not so much do I agree. However, for the sake of marital détente, I agreed to disagree.
So last night when he made a ritualistic fuss over said TV and TV stand, I didn’t say anything. Instead, I am turning to you, O Wise Interwebz.
So tell me: who’s right? Me, or the Mister?
I can’t wait to hear.
And then gloat.
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To be fair, I would have to see the Actual StateTM of the disaster you call your house to made an accurate determination as to which place I’d go to first (taking into account that I am now filled with testosterone instead of estrogen). But I would NEVER, I don’t care how many chin hairs I have, make the tv spotless.
Stack dvds, dust screen maybe … then move on to next chore.
My guess is, though, as a man, I might never tackle anything that needs doing in the bathroom even if it is just replacing toilet paper. Men might lack that gene.
Put that TV in an armoire and close the doors when company is coming!
I like a finger-print-free LCD screen as much as anyone but if I am washing floors and hubby is organizing the TV area, I might think he gets the better job. What if YOU were to organize the media area and HE were to dust, vacuum, etc.?
We also got sick of DVDs and CDs everywhere. We got rid of the cases and store them in a DVD storage compartment — a much larger version of the sorts of CD storage people used to keep in their cars before iPods. We also live in a farmhouse with no storage and have learned that buying things on iTunes, doing Netflix and Netflix instant have not only saved us $$ but also space — and there’s little associated waste in production or trash on our end.
Men need to be told wha to do. They never get it on their own. I am guessing tht he saw u had tha stuff under control and just went to his thing.
Next time why don’t you simply ask him if he can take care of this and that.
Heck, be happy he cleaned something. My husband would have gone straight to the computer and only come up for dinner. I will say that when I give him a task he will do it, but I have to stay ontop of him or he will gravitate back to that damn computer.
Well, I don’t notice anyone’s TVs but maybe guys do…I would always prioritize the detritus lying around on floors and countertops, then bathroom counters/mirrors, then vacuuming/dusting. Specific OBJECTS would come last. I have definitely found that if I write a list with tasks I think need doing, then he’s pretty happy to do what I want. It helps not to even SAY it, just write it. Then I’m not being a harpy and he’s not in trouble. Win-win!
Sounds like a version of productive procrastination. Differential diagnoses: dirty chore avoidance and gadgetitis. All three affect men more often than women in the domestic context. Unless you’re eating in front of the TV (e.g. a Super Bowl party), I wouldn’t start there if hosting – and wouldn’t look there as a guest. (Of course I am female, have 2 kids and a 12+ year old TV.)
My answer is this: Um. You’re supposed to clean your TV?
(That’s about as high on my cleaning priority list as dusting the tops of picture frames.)
There is no right or wrong in this and there never will be. You are dealing with opinions. In his opinion the TV needs to be cleaned first and in your opinion the 15 billion other things need to be cleaned first.
You could beat him at his own game and clean the TV for him and ask him to do the rest. Or you could just accept the fact that he will always just clean the TV.
Good Luck!
And this is why I give my husband specific tasks. Very very very specific. Or just do it myself.
As a fellow music academic…
That shit is weird.
Who cleans the tv? Try the toilet – you know, where people’s ASSES sit.
This is SOOO familiar! Instead of what I think is the obvious stuff, my husband cleans random unnoticeable things when we’re having company, and my mom says that my dad bleached his underwear once when they were cleaning for guests. Is it just men?
I’m a new reader, and very often a lurker on the blogs I read, but I just had to comment here.
You are BEYOND right. And, I have to also concur with Must be Motherhood above… clean the tv?
Ummmm … you.
You are right.
And I am laughing out loud thinking of how my husband is always able to come up with the most obscure, useless tasks that JUST HAVE TO GET DONE immediately when there are screamingly loud things to be addressed in front of his eyes.
Oh, men. Such a cliche and so true!
Lindsey
sounds like something my huz would do. he organizes CUPBOARDS… the INSIDES when we have company coming… I kid you not we have had world war 3 over things like that… I’m all “close the *&$#@! cupboard doors and come do something useful! GAH!
Um… anyway. yes, you are right.
OK, I saw this and thought, “He’s kidding, right?” Like, he really thinks that the TV needs to be polished? But I see that some people agree, or at least can see his side.
My opinion? Same as MU & Kris – he cleans the tv b/c he doesn’t want to clean the bathroom b/c, who does? I’d clean the tv, too, if I could get away with it!
Next time this comes up tell him 2 days in advance to get the beloved tv spotless and in order. Then, the day of, show him the cleaning supplies for the bathroom and tell him to make it look as good as the tv does!
(Seriously. I can say all this b/c my husband is the clean freak. I have no sympathy for some ridiculous “male” gene, it is just b/c he doesn’t want to do the shitty – pun intended – work)
This sounds like when we were getting ready for Molly’s 3rd birthday party, and packing for a 2 week road trip and my husband decides that an hour before company is coming we HAVE to clean the refrigerator and freezer and takes EVERYTHING out of both and puts it on the calendar and starts wiping the drawers and shelves off.
You are right, he is wrong
But you will NEVER win this…
Hmmm, I think our husbands must be related! Mine does the same damn thing and we’ve had it out numerous times as well!! Drives me NUTS!!
I’m totally with you on this one. The TV is pretty much last on my list of things to do/things to hide before company comes.
Wendy
OOooo boy. My husband insisted on cleaning and organizing his TOOLS and the GARAGE that NO ONE WOULD SEE before a dinner party while I cleaned the whole house and made the meal. WTF?
I’m obviously with you on this, though I grudgingly admit that LizP has a point. There can be a difference of opinion about what matters. I still only really see and understand OURS.
My husband and I have since had a very insightful discussion about what we each think matters and we try to organize and agree on who will do what before events such as that so that no one (THAT WOULD MEAN *ME*) will stew about it.
Unless you are having people over to watch a movie or a game or something, the cleaning of the TV falls quite low on my list of things to do. Sorry Mr. C, but they wife wins this one.
I am firmly on your side. On the day of our Christmas Open House, when 100s of people – I’m not kidding…between his Italian Catholic family and my Irish Catholic clan and his business associates, it’s chaos!! – are about to descend on our house and my gloved hands have cleaned cabinets, countertops, toilets and tables … my husband decides to clean out his underwear draw and organize his socks. I lost it. I tried to be calm, really I did, but he couldn’t understand MY logic. We are not inviting anyone to our second floor except to use the bathroom at the top of the stairs should the 1st floor powder room be occupied. Our bedroom door is closed as are the others at the end of the hallway. Our guests will be mingling on our first floor, eating from trays & platters on our counters. They will not be on the second floor in your underwear drawer counting the number of clean skivvies you have!!! Give the t.v. a cursory wipe w/ a dust clothe and get the DVDs off the floor. I can see my husband alphabetizing the DVDs … on the off chance a guest would want to peruse our selection … WHAT!?! No, help me clean toilets and tables!!!
Were you planning on watching some amazing movie that night? If so, the TV needs cleaned, but only a quick clean of the screen, and only if it’s covered in fingerprints. And that takes, oh, 2 minutes? The rest of the time is better spent on helping you with the real cleaning.
I can’t believe it’s even a question. Unless it was a TV-viewing gathering, which I am guessing it wasn’t, toilets and mopping are totally more important.
Start gloating. The interwebz has your back.
Bah! Spouse does the exact same thing!
When you have a cleaning deadline, you shouldn’t spend much time on any one area unless it really needs it, and the “rule” in our house is to clean the areas the guests will see FIRST. That way, if you miss the deadline, odds are they won’t notice that something in a room they won’t even go to isn’t clean.
I’m really lucky in that my husband cleans. He cleans everything, and to the n-th degree. He does, however, have a problem with the priority. People are coming in an hour and he’s cleaning behind the fridge? Really? Like anyone is going to see that? Can’t we agree to clean there if we’re already done with the major traffic areas?
I really can’t complain, though…at least he cleans.
Good luck with your argument!
Ugh, my husband is the same way. We were getting the house readying for a party recently and I went through the sitting room/toy room and quickly tossed/organized the majority of the toys, vacaumed the rug and moved on. The man came in after me and felt the need to clean all the toys out from under the couches. Or rather, move everything that was under the couches to the middle of the room and point out all the stuff he had found. Seriously? Cleaning under the couches? IN a toy room? And now that you mention it I think he does clean the TV. No sense of priorities what so ever.
You’re right. Don’t think I need to explain why.
So I may not be as wise as my wife, but she is right, you know it is about opinions. There is no right or wrong in opinions. I can tell you I would not have cleaned the TV though I would have picked up kids toys or vacuumed in this case. I know she would tell you I have found time to organize the neglected pantry at times she thought I should be doing other things. Her priorities are not always my priorities and this seems to be the case with you and your husband. Just because one of us thinks one thing is more important than the other does not make one right and the other wrong. I do have to admit your man has a connection to his TV like some men do to their trucks. I have never understood that either though.
AKA
ThomastheBrave
I have to admit first, that my husband is always the one who cleans the bathrooms when we have company.
That being said, what annoys me is that almost always, he leaves the grass mowing until company day and then has to spend hours mowing the lawn while i run around the house doing most everything else (except the bathrooms).
Our TV is in the basement, but I am thinking that if it was in the living room it would be high on his priority list as well. He does love that TV.
Oh, yeah. I get this. My husband gets angry with me for saving things like A VACUUM CLEANER which he threw AWAY when we moved to France, but insisted on saving a receipt for a comic book he bought with cash in 1994.
But, that being said, he’s learned that doing what I want makes me much less angry, and he’s learned to ask. This took about 10 years of marriage. But he’s getting there. (It’s year 13 and he’s doing much better now.)
This simple list helps:
1. Pick up crap and put it behind closed doors (crap includes toys, shoes, stacks of books and papers)
2. Clean surfaces. (Like table tops, counters, etc.)
3. Vacuum. EVERYTHING.
I wouldn’t dream of asking him to dust or clean bathrooms, because those things do not translate to Man-Language, but the three on the list can make a world of difference when I’m busy preparing a meal, choosing serveware, ironing tablecloths, and all that other crap that for some reason seems important.
But still, I know he’ll waste an inordinate amount of time choosing the music to play, programming a new playlist, reloading the ipod, hooking it up to the stereo and choosing the proper speaker settings.
So I get the TV thing.
I agree that the TV should be cleaned, but after everything else. And I really don’t understand why the drawers need to be dusted out when there are other more prominent tasks to be completed.
My husband does a variation of this, except when company is supposed to stop by, he goes outside. Mows the grass, CLEANS THE CAR. Leaves 99% of everything inside for me to do.
OH MY GOD. Do all husbands have that problem? Because every time I say we need to get things cleaned before the company gets here the husband always finds the most obscure corner of the house and organizes the hell out of it, even though it’s not even something the company would ever see or notice. While, like you, I do EVERYTHING ELSE. I absolutely agree with you. The TV and stand are not a giant priority. I’m looking at the things that normal people notice – toilets and bathrooms because guests frequently use the bathroom, counters and surfaces, floors, etc. You are SO RIGHT on this one!
I am with you! Cleaning the TV has its time and place but we have ours in an armoire for that reason so the doors can be shut and it is not the centerpiece of our living room (hubby’s idead).
idea not idead sorry didn’t proofread well!
I’ve had this same argument before…so you (and I) are right.
It’s something that I will never understand, but to a lot of men, the TV is the most important thing in a house, so of course it needs to be clean and organized.
Me? I have to agree with Motherhood Uncensored. The place where your guests might need to sit their bare ass, is what should be cleaned. Ha.
I have to agree – your right, unless of course, said TV watching was part of the festivities, then it might be nice to wash the fingerprints off. Otherwise, he should be helping with things that need to be done. Sadly, we have this argument as well (with different menial tasks that don’t need to be done but my husband feels must be done!)
Um, your husband is a Ph.D, right?
Well, the other day I saw a leave-on-your-door trash piece about Ph.D. home construction guys (it really wasn’t, as if they would…but it was fun to laugh at). Can you imagine? They would spend like 3 hours worrying about and working on a 6″ piece of wall. ‘Cause that’s what they do, they focus on something that is small and detailed and don’t notice the global shit. It’s their training. At least that’s what I tell myself when my husband spends 2 hours “cleaning the deck” for a party that won’t, um, include the deck. He’s a Ph.D. too. It’s a occupational hazard.
Well, let me see….do I want to sit on a toilet with little specks of “things” attached to it….or watch a REALLY clean TV.
hmm….
Well, I just read this to my husband and he’s in total agreement with Mr. C. Must be a man thing to have totally fucked up priorities on what needs to be done. My husband cleans the OUTSIDE of our windows several times a year. I’m of the opinion that they really don’t need to be cleaned at all unless there is a big wad of bird poop on them. So. We disagree. He cleans the windows and then complains that he doesn’t have time to do other things. Sigh.
I realise I am different than most, and fly in the face of the stereotype that most people are replying in reference to.
I would have walked in and hit the kitchen first. It’s the messiest, and most difficult thing to get in order. Other rooms are easy, and fast compared to the kitchen.
Sorry to shatter any illusions here – in the dark of an evening, you CANNOT SEE DUST ON THE TV.
Most guys are damn lazy. There I said it. I get in from work and immediately help. Every day. And I still feel I don’t do enough.
you have special stuff for cleaning the t.v.?!
Seriously…the TV? What?
Um…is this really even a debate. Hand your husband the vacuum cleaner and tell him to get to work.
P.S. I love how serious some of the comments were here. Wow. People take this TV cleaning stuff serious, eh?
Possibly if TV watching was going to be on the evening’s agenda, then MAYBE quickly rubbing off finger prints and dust is okay.
But since you did not mention any TV watching, to spend the entire time cleaning the TV and THE DRAWERS (omg!)…..waste of time! Not necessary! Pointless!
You are right, but unfortunately the point is moot, beacause I think that’s a genetic male trait and IT WILL NEVER CHANGE. No matter what. I speak from experience on this one.
When we are having a party or packing for a trip, I make a list of things that he needs to do. And he is not allowed to do anything that is not on that list without consulting me.
This system has gone into place after years of him doing non-essential things (like painting the freakin’ grill before a BBQ) before a party.
I used to just make a list of things that needed done, but now I delegate specifics to him.
I know, this seems really harsh as I am writing it here. But trust me, men and women have completely different priorities and think different things are important or essential. And we all know which sex is right, don’t we.
One question: does your husband read you blog? And will he read the comments?
Boys are dumb and lazy. Everyone knows this.
(Of course, there are exceptions to this rule. Apparently.)
Day of huge family birthday party for one of five children. I was doing tons of random major stuff. He goes out and cuts down a tree. This is only one example of sooooooo many things over twenty-plus years. Boys are stupid. The end.