I’ve been bragging about how good my Shaggy Boy is.
When anyone asks how we are, I shrug and tell them cheerfully that it’s easier the second time around, and that it helps when you have a baby who sleeps for five hours a stretch every night and doesn’t fuss.
In fact, just yesterday I told a [...]

The Poo: (watches the boy getting a diaper change) Mommy, I don’t like to look at Shaggy’s round part.
Mommy: The round part?
The Poo: (pointing) Yeah. That. His round part.
Mommy: That’s called his penis.
The Poo: I don’t like to look at his penis.
Mommy: That’s OK, then just don’t look at it.
The Poo: I don’t like penises.
Daddy: [...]

To: Three-And-A-Half

From: Mrs. Chicken
Re: Recent Developments
Dear Three-And-A-Half:
As you know, we are in the process of expanding. On 08-08-08, we will be adding another person to the mix. As such, we’d like to take this time to address some concerns we have over recent developments.
Your newfound belief that you are autonomous is, for the most part, [...]

The Poo sits on the potty, eating her lunch and watching a DVD on mommy’s MacBook.

A conversation with my mother-in-law sparked a Sunday filled with anger, recriminations and tears.
She asked me how potty training was going.
The Poo is progressing nicely from toddler to full-blown preschooler, with her big girl bed, ability to get in and out of the bathtub by herself and her ever-exploding language and imagination skills.
She is, in [...]

When it comes to The Poo, I am, like most mothers, blind.
Of course I see her beauty and her spark, but I also see where she lags behind, how other kids do X, Y and Z and she doesn’t - she won’t eat vegetables, pee on the potty, dress herself. While in my secret heart [...]

Turns out all you need to force a small girl to pee and poop on the potty is this:

The Poo was farting up a storm so I asked her if she wanted to sit on the potty. Of course she said no, until I told her this:
IF YOU POOP AND PEE ON THE POTTY YOU [...]

The Poo finally exhibited her worst behavior in front of her daddy.
Last night we attempted 5 o’clock Mass, and our girl was in top form. Backtalk, loud talking, yelling, singing at the top of her lungs, fake burping (I know, what the hell?), inappropriate dancing, defiance, extreme wiggling … all in front of the other [...]

Before I say anything else:
I love my daughter with my whole heart and soul and I would offer my life for hers every single time, even if it meant a slow, painful demise.
But.
She’s making me fucking crazy!
I always think spending time here without Mr. C is a good idea. I think I’ll hang with my [...]

I can’t remember a time when I didn’t know about The Beatles.
When I was a little girl not even three, my father, himself just 22 years old, would play his guitar and sing me songs written by John and Paul.
Later, as an eight-year-old, I’d dim the lights in our basement rec room and grab my [...]