From the category archives:

prozac nation

New Eyes

October 28, 2009

She is slight, with curly blond hair and a wide smile. She is soft-spoken and modest and has the air of a girl sheltered from the ugliness of the world.
I show her into the family room. I am embarrassed by the stains on the carpet and damp with perspiration from a frantic, last-minute attempt to [...]

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Deep Breaths

August 31, 2009

When I wrote about how I reached my breaking point last week, I was feeling raw and defeated.
Truth be told, I have a long and varied history with chronic depression. It is a disease that probably had its grip on me even as a young child.
That’s hard to admit, but when  48 women raise their [...]

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Unbalanced

August 28, 2009

Last night I had a major meltdown. The kind of meltdown that starts with a small thing, a tease or a joke that would normally roll off your back.
But it doesn’t roll off your back. Instead, you find yourself yelling at the top of your lungs while your husband dusts the floorboards and your kids [...]

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Better Living Through Chemistry

May 20, 2009

I’ve been waking up very early in the morning, a hot/cold current of intense anxiety running through me. Almost every day, in the most dreadfully predictable way, the babyman starts fussing and whimpering at the exact same time.
Like he can sense my discomfort, and seeks to alliviate it by calling for me, by starting the [...]

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Confessions of a Passive-Aggressive Phonaphobe

May 13, 2009

A friend joined me today for my thrice-weekly writing session at the coffeehouse. Well before I landed on the corn-dusted shores of Chambana, this friend answered pesky questions from me—where should I go for this? Where should I go for that?
We met one morning for coffee almost three years ago now, and as we loaded [...]

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I Can’t HEAR Anything

March 2, 2009

I almost got a traffic ticket this morning.
I rushed out the door today, the sounds of a baby crying and a tiff with my husband ringing in my ears. I absently gave the babysitter rote instructions while stuffing my crap in my bag, in a hurry to get out the door.
Work is piling up and [...]

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I’m Not Sure Who To Feel Sorry For In This Scenario

September 30, 2008

I admit to checking sitemeter as often the next blogger. I’m not ususally one to write about the results, but this begs to be told.
Recently, some poor soul landed at my blog by googling this phrase:
“i totally fucked up my life”
That kind of sums it up, doesn’t it?

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Baby Steps

September 25, 2008

Yesterday was a bad day, yo.
I didn’t get a shower and I freaked out because the baby slept too much (I know, someone, please give me a Valium), and the only clean underpants I had were those huge, stretchy ones that reach my ribcage and dude, I was not in the MOOD for those panties.
Can [...]

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Halfway Up

September 8, 2008

Shaggy and I spent an unusually contented two hours alone together Saturday evening, while Mr. C and The Poo went to Mass.
Normally we go to church, as well, but the boy had a string of bad days and even worse nights. He was finally asleep when it was time to leave for Saturday evening vigil, [...]

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My Papier-Mache Heart

May 27, 2008

She’s fine, now.
She’s going to be fine.
I didn’t know that 24 hours ago.
***
Her fever broke in the car, at 5:45 a.m., a half-hour after I woke her father with a frantic whisper.
The small girl in the pink nightie printed with ballerina slippers chattered away, innocent of the knowledge that we headed were toward the hospital.
“Look, [...]

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