From the category archives:

prozac nation

New Eyes

October 28, 2009

She is slight, with curly blond hair and a wide smile. She is soft-spoken and modest and has the air of a girl sheltered from the ugliness of the world.
I show her into the family room. I am embarrassed by the stains on the carpet and damp with perspiration from a frantic, last-minute attempt to [...]

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So THAT Happened …

September 18, 2009

So, yeah.
I had a bit of a nervous breakdown there, eh? And then I hid under the covers for two or three weeks while I waited for the drugs to kick in—and no, not the good drugs.
The drugs for Teh Crazy have all kinds of FANTASTIC side effects, like dry mouth, tummy trouble (read: extreme [...]

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Deep Breaths

August 31, 2009

When I wrote about how I reached my breaking point last week, I was feeling raw and defeated.
Truth be told, I have a long and varied history with chronic depression. It is a disease that probably had its grip on me even as a young child.
That’s hard to admit, but when 48 women raise their [...]

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Unbalanced

August 28, 2009

Last night I had a major meltdown. The kind of meltdown that starts with a small thing, a tease or a joke that would normally roll off your back.
But it doesn’t roll off your back. Instead, you find yourself yelling at the top of your lungs while your husband dusts the floorboards and your kids [...]

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Better Living Through Chemistry

May 20, 2009

I’ve been waking up very early in the morning, a hot/cold current of intense anxiety running through me. Almost every day, in the most dreadfully predictable way, the babyman starts fussing and whimpering at the exact same time.
Like he can sense my discomfort, and seeks to alliviate it by calling for me, by starting the [...]

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Confessions of a Passive-Aggressive Phonaphobe

May 13, 2009

A friend joined me today for my thrice-weekly writing session at the coffeehouse. Well before I landed on the corn-dusted shores of Chambana, this friend answered pesky questions from me—where should I go for this? Where should I go for that?
We met one morning for coffee almost three years ago now, and as we loaded [...]

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You’re No Rock N’ Roll Fun

May 7, 2009

I don’t know what I’m doing here anymore.
The only time I have to think, to reflect, is when I’m in bed. I close my eyes and snippets of stories come. Frantic, even in almost-slumber, I grab for them, feel them slip between my fingers like wily little fish.
I can’t see anything anymore. There’s no time; [...]

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Regrouping

March 20, 2009

I spent the past three or four days breathing deeply. Panic bleeds into my hours unexpectedly—what will we do about preschool? should I go back to work part-time? what if we don’t get a tuition waiver?—but I do my best to keep it at bay.
I’m tired. Defending your little spot on the Continuum of Suffering [...]

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I Can’t HEAR Anything

March 2, 2009

I almost got a traffic ticket this morning.
I rushed out the door today, the sounds of a baby crying and a tiff with my husband ringing in my ears. I absently gave the babysitter rote instructions while stuffing my crap in my bag, in a hurry to get out the door.
Work is piling up and [...]

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You Can’t Say I Didn’t Warn You

February 28, 2009

I’m supposed to be working.
I’m in The Poo’s room, sitting in her rocking chair. We still haven’t weaned her from falling asleep with a grown-up in the room. We’re just too fucking tired.
She’s reading her book with a tiny flashlight shaped like a ladybug, and I … well, I am sitting. Thinking. No, stewing, really.
This [...]

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← Previous Entries

prozac nation

New Eyes

So THAT Happened …

Deep Breaths

Unbalanced

Better Living Through Chemistry

Confessions of a Passive-Aggressive Phonaphobe

You’re No Rock N’ Roll Fun

Regrouping

I Can’t HEAR Anything

You Can’t Say I Didn’t Warn You

Pheasant and Brie

Say Cheese!

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prozac nation

Pheasant and Brie

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