Welcome to The Home of The Fussin’ Illini

Yesterday was awful.
Even with the perspective that some rest and a new morning bring, yesterday will go down in the annals as perhaps one of my worst mothering days.
This whole week, in fact, can suck it. I lost my temper more times than I care to admit, culminating with a terrible performance where I screamed [...]

I want to write, I want to keep the words moving, keep them on the outside. I don’t want these words inside to back up.
I don’t want to choke on them.
When The Poo was born it felt like a slow death by drowning. Drowning in sorrow, in fear, in exhaustion … my memories of her [...]

You forget.
Nature’s way, I imagine, of convincing you to procreate again.
You forget just how long the hours between 2 and 6 a.m. can feel. Only four hours - 240 minutes - and yet, the seconds tick by so slowly that you fear you may never see the sunrise again.
But it does come, slowly, each day. [...]

You know what is a really bad idea?
Watching maudlin movies in the wee hours of the morning.
I’m up these days between 2 and 4 a.m., and it seems to me that cable television conspires to torture the mothers of very small babies during these early hours.
Saturday I was sucked into a viewing of “Steel Magnolias,” [...]

Can you stand the sweetness?

My mom left Thursday afternoon, in a rush.
All of a sudden she decided she needed to get home, to attend to her pressing business there. It was a wise decision, but it was a lot like pulling off a bandage all at once.
We said our final goodbyes in my driveway, raindrops falling on our faces, [...]

I’ve been bragging about how good my Shaggy Boy is.
When anyone asks how we are, I shrug and tell them cheerfully that it’s easier the second time around, and that it helps when you have a baby who sleeps for five hours a stretch every night and doesn’t fuss.
In fact, just yesterday I told a [...]

There is something about Sundays that always make me sad.
Ever since I was a little girl, the late-afternoon sun at the end of a weekend makes me maudlin. I want to turn back the clock to Saturday morning when 24 hours were laid out in front of me like a banquet.
This Sunday I was like [...]