From the category archives:

suckitude

And Then Karma Literally Kicked Me In The Ass

September 10, 2008

There are some phrases you don’t want to hear in the pediatrician’s office.
Phrases, like, oh, say, “breathing issue” and “St. Louis Children’s Hospital.”
Shaggy has this funny kind of gaspy, gulpy breathing thing he does, intermittently and most often when he is eating. It sounds like a scary squeak, one I knew wasn’t quite right. I [...]

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Coming Up Short

September 5, 2008

Yesterday was awful.
Even with the perspective that some rest and a new morning bring, yesterday will go down in the annals as perhaps one of my worst mothering days.
This whole week, in fact, can suck it. I lost my temper more times than I care to admit, culminating with a terrible performance where I screamed [...]

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Out Of It

July 28, 2008

My husband is finally home, but things are still out of whack.
My MIL remains with us, her plane ticket back to Washington, D.C. discarded. She was due to leave six hours before Mr. Chicken walked in the back door, and she felt sure I would go into labor the minute she left the house.
So today, [...]

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The Baby That Ate My Brain

July 12, 2008

The Poo and I baked cookies this morning, and decided it would be nice to drop some off for daddy and his friends, who were holed up in their office studying for Monday’s intensive doctoral qualifying exams.
We spent a few minutes chatting, and then we went to the grocery store for necessities like white grape [...]

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C’mon, You Know You Want To

July 8, 2008

I am a total bore.
*holds up hands*
No, really, I am.
I want to write something stirring, or lovely, or melancholy about the upcoming shift in my family, but I just can’t.
I’m all out of words, at least the good ones. I wrote three columns, an essay and two sidebars for publication yesterday and the well is, [...]

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Two Words You Don’t Want To Hear In The Same Sentence

July 2, 2008

My midwife called me 30 minutes before my appointment yesterday morning.
I had one leg in my shorts and the other in the air, The Poo was yelling about wanting to paint, and I had to skip my shower because we were running late.
Did I mention it was 8:45 a.m.?
She asked me if the perinatologist had [...]

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Seriously? My Hooha Is KILLING Me

June 14, 2008

This might need to be filed under the “TMI” category, but people.
My crotch is fucking KILLING me.
When we had our last ultrasound, it was revealed that Shaggy Boy’s head is lodged deep in my pelvis. Normally this would be very good news indeed, seeing as his sister was breech.
However, since I will be having a [...]

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Diagnosis: Homesick

May 20, 2008

Most of you know that I flunked my three-hour glucose test – and rather spectacularly, to quote the midwife – and the likely scenario is insulin for the remainder of my last trimester.
It makes sense – I had a mild case with The Poo, and I’ve felt so very, very crappy this time. I just [...]

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Like A PAP Smear? Oh HELLZ no!

May 19, 2008

Today I had the fine pleasure of having a camera stuffed up my urethra.
This, after I waited for the doctor for more than an hour and 45 minutes. Because, you know, he is a very busy man.
And we all know that a doctor, and especially one with a penis, is far, far busier than any [...]

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I Hate Being Right

April 22, 2008

Guess who gets to go for a three-hour glucose test next Wednesday?
It was just what I’d hoped for – to sit for an additional five hours in my OB’s office just to be told what I already know – I have The Diabetis, as we call it in our house.
I failed my one-hour test today,  [...]

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