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Thumbnail image for All I Want For Christmas

All I Want For Christmas

December 20, 2009

Dear Santa,
You have to admit that I’ve been a very good girl this year, or at least for the past six months.
I worked very, very hard at getting my shit together during the latter half of 2009, and I feel I should be rewarded for all my efforts.
This year for Christmas, I would very much [...]

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Red-nosed Reindeer Girl

December 10, 2009
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Vivid

December 8, 2009

The Babyman grabbed his shoes this morning as his father and sister departed for the day.
“Go go!” he yelled in his throaty little voice. He turned to me, hair falling in his eyes and pink yogurt on his chin. “Go go?”
I shook my head, both in answer and exasperation. Babyman turned 16 months old on [...]

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In the ER

December 4, 2009

We think he’s in cardiac arrest.
Just tell us, is he going to die today?
Yes.
***
The Poo took a spill in the master bathroom tonight. She was fooling around, getting in and out of the tub to amuse her little brother. She darted into the bedroom and I shooed her back to her bath.
I heard a terrible [...]

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The Head Writer for The Simpsons Must Read My Blog

November 28, 2009
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Thankful … For This Virus

November 25, 2009

I am at home for Thanksgiving.
Did you hear me?
I AM AT HOME FOR THANKSGIVING!
No mini-van to pack, no clothes to wash for the trip, no need to remember every lovie my kids need to go to sleep because we are having our holiday in Chambana.
Holy. Shit.
Just one minor quirk in my plans — we’re all [...]

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My Rock N’ Roll Lifestyle

November 19, 2009

Tomorrow I am going to be on a local television show.
Like, in about seven hours. I should, in fact, be sleeping, but I have a long relationship with wake-up anxiety. You know, when you’re hyper-aware of the time: I should be sleeping! I have to get up in seven hours! Five hours! Two hours! Fuck [...]

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Up Late

November 13, 2009

I can’t sleep.
Mr. C is out of town for the evening, and I find slumber elusive when he’s not here. I’m watching late-night TV, meandering around the Internet, sneaking milk chocolate-covered caramels furtively, looking over my shoulder even though no one is here to see me.
The children are asleep in their beds. The Poo fell [...]

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Poop & Jelly Beans

Thumbnail image for Poop & Jelly Beans November 10, 2009

If I told you what I was doing this evening between the hours of 6 and 7 in the p.m., you wouldn’t believe me.
Or maybe, if you’re a parent, you would.
I had an unexpected day off from my daily writing job, and so I thought The Babyman and I would have a leisurely day of [...]

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Maybe We’re Doing Something Right

Thumbnail image for Maybe We’re Doing Something Right November 9, 2009

We went to our favorite soda fountain this weekend, the one that fits in with my fantasy of what life in a small Midwestern town should be like.
The tin ceiling and gleaming mirrors behind the long marble counter are straight out of set design. The two women who own the shop bustle about delivering meals [...]

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